Have you wonder whether you are a realist or not?
Do you think your life full of flowering words or sentences?
Do you wonder why people always gives good answer not realistic one?
Well, to be honest with you I also do same thing.
When talking with others, I always gives flowering words.
"It's OK."
"There will be time for that."
"No, You can do it."
"I'll be good listener."
"You are not alone. I'll be with you."
"That's the friends are for."
You know I'm not the kind of imaginative or romantic person.
I'm a realistic person.
If I can see it that must be true and vice versa.
How come you believe the words when the bad thing happened to you?
How many people give word of encouragement?
Sharing good story with so beautiful meaning, like whatever happen is for your good.
I'm not despise them.
Nor I hate them.
I like it and it's really encouraging.
But sometimes I need real answer not a flowering, beautiful, diplomatic answer.
Yes, it wont help me nor console me.
But you must face reality. You live in real world.
"It's OK."
How come you say that? I'm not OK.
I'm sick. Give other answer. More practical.
What's OK when I'm hurt, feeling alone, crying, sad, got backstabbing?
I'm not belong to this place and you said it's OK.
You see all thing to simple my dear friend.
Life is complicated.
"Make your life simple"
Life is not simple. If it is, I wont be hurt like this.
I wont feel this feeling.
I wont complain about it.
Nothing is simple. Even a single snow has very complicated structure.
"There will be time for that"
OK then. Why the time is not now?
What the difference you give it now and then?
if it's just the same, why wont you give it now?
You said I'm not ready then why you make the desire.
Why you let me know about this?
Why?
"No. You can do it."
Very nice. So you want me do it by myself.
If I can do it I wont say I can't.
It's really heavy. Even I can't bear it.
Then will you help me to do it?
No. You just want me to finish it by myself.
Again it's just the word of encouraging.
You're not in my position.
"I'll be good listener."
One big lie is this word.
Come on, you can stand with it but not your ear.
You are already tired to listen to all my word.
Even you always tell me to shut my mouth.
How come now you said this word?
When I'm talking you say to shut up.
When I keep silent you say to talk and you'll listen.
What a liar are you.
"You are not alone. I'll be with you."
You say this word when you can't be with me for 24 hours.
You're in USA and I'm in Asia or Africa.
You truly just say this word.
After party what is left is the host who need to clean all the mess.
Ask for the others. Maybe they end up having another party at nearby bar.
"That's the friends are for."
What is the purpose of friend?
What are the friends for?
Can you elaborate more.
If you answer like this, it's just 10/100.
I'm not asking you to answer your friend like that.
Nor discourage you to not console other.
I just challenge you to think from their shoes.
When you want to console other, please put yourself on their behalf.
Stating normal and common word will not help a lot.
At the end of the conversation your friend will say:
"Thank you. You really help me."
for the sake of attitude.
