Who is She? My Mother

Brief Career History

 The author interviewed Madam Lim, a single mother in her late 50. Her husband just passed away on May 2010. She runs a medium restaurant selling variance of food and a small bakery shop. She has four children, three daughters and one son. The oldest daughter is a dentist, currently working at family clinic. The second daughter is a medical student, currently serving as intern. The son is a university student, currently studying in the last year. The youngest daughter is an accountancy student, currently studying in second year.

Madam Lim is a Chinese descendant. She can speak Mandarin and some dialects. She was in food and beverage industry for almost 21 years. She started by helping her husband in running the business since her husband is illiterate. She, herself, was not degree holder. She only finished her Junior College. Due to her family financial background, she couldn’t pursue university degree. She started to work since young to help her poor family. She has nine siblings.

Madam Lim is brilliant and smart even though she couldn’t enjoy university life. She has sharp thinking, excellent communication skills, and good management skills. She picked those skills by herself through the experiences she has undergone. Madam Lim managed to expand her husband business from a small restaurant to a medium restaurant with strong customers’ loyalty. The restaurant is well known for their fast serving and delicious food. She also managed to open a small bakery shop, catered to birthday and wedding cake, along with the restaurant. On top of that she successfully entered her four children to university. Even some people didn’t believe that she could do that.

 She is also an entrepreneur. On May 2010, her husband passed away due to sudden heart attack. Then she has to manage the restaurant and the bakery shop alone. She struggled with the family economy to sustain her three children education cost. Due to the economy recession, the business didn’t go well. Luckily she got opportunity to open family dental clinic together with other relatives. She also joined her friends in other business projects. She is a good risk analyst, excellent predictor, and deep thinker.

The fairy tale is too good to be true. In fact she was diagnosed with diabetes type II, a genetic illness (Amy Adams, 2000). In spite of her illness she continued to fight and pursue her dream. She wanted to see all her children to be successful in the future by having university degree. She continued running the restaurant and bakery shop; and looking after other business. She is a strong-willed person.

A Story about LOVE

One, young, academically excellent person went to apply for a managerial position in a big company.

He passed the first interview. The director who did the last interview, made the last decision.

The director discovered from the CV that the youth's academic achievements were excellent all the way, from the secondary school until the postgraduate research. He never had a year when he did not score.

The director asked, "Did you obtain any scholarships in school?" The youth answered "none".

The director asked, "Was it your father who paid for your school fees?" The youth answered, "My father passed away when I was one year old. It was my mother who paid for my school fees."
 

The director asked, "Where did your mother work?" The youth answered, "My mother worked as a clothes cleaner." The director requested the youth to show his hands. The youth showed a pair of hands that were smooth and perfect.

The director asked, "Have you ever helped your mother wash the clothes before?" The youth answered, "Never, my mother always wanted me to study and read more books. Furthermore, my mother can wash clothes faster than me."
 

The director said, "I have a request. When you go back today, go and clean your mother's hands and then see me tomorrow morning."

The youth felt that his chance of landing the job was high. When he went back, he happily requested his mother to let him clean her hands. His mother felt strange, but with mixed feelings, she showed her hands to her son.

The youth cleaned his mother's hands slowly. His tears fell as he did that. It was the first time he noticed that his mother's hands were so wrinkled and that there were so many bruises in her hands. Some bruises were so painful that his mother shivered when they were cleaned with water.

This was the first time the youth realized that it was this pair of hands that washed the clothes every day to enable him to pay the school fee. The bruises in the mother's hands were the price that the mother had to pay for his graduation, academic excellence and his future.

After finishing the cleaning of his mother hands, the youth quietly washed all the remaining clothes for his mother.

That night, mother and son talked for a very long time.

Next morning, the youth went to the director's office.

The Director noticed the tears in the youth's eyes and asked, "Can you tell me what you did and learned yesterday in your house?"

The youth answered, "I cleaned my mother's hands, and also finished cleaning all the remaining clothes."

The Director asked, "Please tell me your feelings."

The youth said, Number 1, I know now the meaning of appreciation. Without my mother, there would not be the successful me today. Number 2, by working together and helping my mother, only now I realize how difficult and tough it is to get something done. Number 3, I have come to appreciate the importance and value of family relationship.

The director said, " This is what I am looking for in my new manager. I want to recruit a person who can appreciate the help of others, a person who knows the sufferings of others to get things done, and a person who would not put money as his only goal in life. Son,you are hired."
 

Later on, this young person worked very hard, and received the respect of his subordinates. Every employee worked diligently and as a team. The company's performance improved tremendously.

A child, who has been over protected and habitually given whatever he or she wanted, would develop the entitlement mentality and would always put himself first. He would be ignorant of his parent's efforts. When he starts work, he assumes that every person must listen to him, and when he becomes a manager, he would never know the sufferings of his employees and would always blame others. This kind of person, may be good academically and may be successful for a while, but eventually would not feel a sense of achievement. He will grumble and be full of hatred and fight for more.
 

If we are this kind of protective parents, are we really showing love or are we destroying the kid instead?*

You can let your kid live in a big house, eat good meals, learn piano, watch a big screen TV. But when you are cutting grass, please let him experience it. After a meal, let him wash his plates and bowls together with his brothers and sisters. It is not because you do not have money to hire a maid, but it is because you want to love him in the right way. You want him to understand, no matter how rich his parents are, one day their hair will grow gray, same as the mother of that young man . The most important thing is your kid learns how to appreciate the effort and experience the difficulty and learns the ability to work with others to get things done.