A Letter to Dad

Last Sunday, we celebrated Father's Day.
For all fathers: Happy Father's Day, may you be a light and salt for the family.
For all children: Happy celebrating Father's Day, be a good child to your dad.
For all wives and mothers: Happy to see you with your loved one, may this will go to eternity.
And for those who don't have father: Happy to you who still have memory of your beloved father.

 And like me, who don't have the warm of father's hug anymore, we can only bring the memory of him.
Indeed we know that our father live forever in paradise.
Now I feel the pain of having no father around and envy them who still have complete family.
Happy are those whose family has both arm of father and mother.

This is just a letter that express my feeling towards my father.
It can be a reflection for you who miss your dad.
And also a reflection for you who still have dad to talk to and speak to.

I think I will do this more often to express my thought and feeling.
A letter to my dad who will never be able to read this.
A letter to my dad who is happy now in God's house.
A letter to my dad who will always pray for his son.

 

Dear Dad,

How are yo now? It's been a long time I see your face. Are you still healthy as before?
Are you happy there in God's house? Is that place better than home hence you leave first?
Don't you know how much mom cried near you asking you why you had to leave first?
Are you still that fat as before or have you slimmed down a bit?

Dad, I never imagined to say this, but I miss you now.
I really missed the time we had a conversation.
I really missed the time we spent time together as one family.
I really missed the time we had dinner together in our big table.

When you left us alone in silence, I asked God, why now? Why not later?
I never imagined to lose one of my parent so young when I still need them the most.
I don't care if my friend called me "spoiled brat".
I enjoy the time we had together, though you never speak a lot of words to me.
Though the memory I had are both smile and cry, happiness and sadness.
I always blame God for this, even till today.
Though I said to my self and friends I'm OK, I will never be OK.
I will never be the same anymore.
My heart was broken the moment I heard the news. I cried, I shouted, I went insane.

You left me before you saw me in my glory.
It was just one more year before I graduated, the moment you have been waiting for even till the last of your breathe. Why couldn't you wait for that moment? Why must God take you earlier?
People said that I didn't cry at all during your wake.
How could I cry if I really didn't understand what happened?
How could I make my mom sadder by crying with her?
How could I cry if I'm the only son in the family who has to be strong?
People just don't understand the pain that I felt that time.
I was pain that even tears couldn't wash it away.

But it was history. It was yesterday. It was my past part of my life story book.
I need to move on with my life and I believe you want me also to do the same.
Dad, did you know that now I have graduated?
Did you know how I wished you could see my graduation?
Did you know how I wanted to have picture taken with you in my robe?
How i wished you are seated there in the auditorium to see me in that stage.

I can't be a filial son to you.
Even now I was facing problem, I really don't know what to do.
Could you tell me what to do?
I can't meet my mom expectation and i believe it is also your expectation.
Have I failed you as a son?
Have I been a embarrassment to you?
I may not be the smartest student in my class.
I may not be the highest paid among my peers.
Surely I may not have  the proudest job among my friend
Do feel that I am a failure?
I wished you could talk and console me, how I want you to be with me, support me, and encourage me.
Let me be selfish this one time, dad I want to e just a child.
I don't want to grow up and be adult.
I just want to be with you like last time when I need not to worry  about anything at all.
Could I have that moment one more time and stay still?

I wish you all the best there dad. Enjoy your new life without pain and sadness.
Please watch me here with all your love.
Though in the silence, pray for your child to prove the world.
Let me be the son that make you proud the most.
Let me live your legacy here and to pay them who looked down on you.
I will make sure that they will pay every penny that they spent to mock you and mom.
I will defeat the world that has been hard on you and mom.
I will make sure your name will be remembered.

Please wait for me there. Till I come back to you, please be healthy and strong.
Protect our family and guard us with your shield.
Let me prove my self to you for once and all.

With love,

Your son

In Memoriam:

Me and My Dad

Lady Gaga VS "INDONEISA"

 Lady Gaga VS "INDONEISA"

Well as we know Lady Gaga's concert was CANCELED by her.

First of all let make some lines of understanding :

1.  I'm her fan, follow all her songs, like to listen them, and respect her as artist.
2. I'm a Catholic, believe in GOD, and don't intend to worship Satan in near future.
3. I'm just a normal boy who grew up in Indonesia for almost 20 years.

I hope you have some pictures of me :)

So let's see what's wrong with Lady Gaga to make her banned from entering Indonesia.
Yes Indonesia has 95% of Muslim population but there are Muslims who like Lady Gaga (IMHO).
And I don't think they will shift their religion just because of her.
Don't get me wrong. I don't say all what she did is right.

As my last blog entry not all we planned will go as planned (link).
However the result of this incident is huge; money, good name, chain effect.
I heard U2 considering to cancel their concert in Indonesia due to this.
We don't know who else will do the same or worse we get black list form big STAR.
And this will just benefit our neighbor (you know what I mean).

As a person who grew up in Catholic belief and East value, I understand why  people hate her to the bone.
But living in Singapore for 4 years make me encounter new perspectives.
I think there is some values that we need to learn from Gaga.
But I agree that there is also values that we need not to take from her.
For example we can learn how to be bold in giving our opinion.
Young people need to learn not to dictate what to do, instead they need to be innovative and creative.
We can see Gaga in believing  what she believes hence we can learn form it.
But there is limitation in showing our creativity.
I don't think you want to wear meat dress in Indonesia, unless you want people rape you to take the meat :p
Being sexy doesn't mean we need to be vulgar.

Actually without Gaga here Indonesia already faces problem with so called morality.
The honorable representatives were caught watching porn during meeting.
One were considered having sex video and the video was distributed all over the country.
So many of them are caught by corruption watch police due to corruption issue.
Is that what we called "honorable" to be role model of young people?
Is that what they want us to learn from television news everyday, every time, everywhere? It is even worse than Lady Gaga in a way.
At least Gaga teach us how to be true in ourselves (listen Born This Way).


Stop using religion/doctrine/dogma to stop "Westernization"  or modernization.
You can stop it for a while but at the end you will lose.
If not our country will lose to others.
Instead of that teach our young people what is right and wrong.
Show us the right way in doing, honest words to utter, and respectable behavior.
If you show us violence, don't blame us to be violence as well.
How many demonstration by young people tuned out to be violence?

Guard the young people with LOVE and RESPECT.

Teach us with action and not just word.

Show us example through your work.

Protect us with shield of TRUTH.

"Love and respect yourself. Guard yourself with strong conviction and belief. Protect yourself from lies and shield your soul with TRUTH."

Wilson Wijaya Lee/ 29 May 2012

A Story about LOVE

One, young, academically excellent person went to apply for a managerial position in a big company.

He passed the first interview. The director who did the last interview, made the last decision.

The director discovered from the CV that the youth's academic achievements were excellent all the way, from the secondary school until the postgraduate research. He never had a year when he did not score.

The director asked, "Did you obtain any scholarships in school?" The youth answered "none".

The director asked, "Was it your father who paid for your school fees?" The youth answered, "My father passed away when I was one year old. It was my mother who paid for my school fees."
 

The director asked, "Where did your mother work?" The youth answered, "My mother worked as a clothes cleaner." The director requested the youth to show his hands. The youth showed a pair of hands that were smooth and perfect.

The director asked, "Have you ever helped your mother wash the clothes before?" The youth answered, "Never, my mother always wanted me to study and read more books. Furthermore, my mother can wash clothes faster than me."
 

The director said, "I have a request. When you go back today, go and clean your mother's hands and then see me tomorrow morning."

The youth felt that his chance of landing the job was high. When he went back, he happily requested his mother to let him clean her hands. His mother felt strange, but with mixed feelings, she showed her hands to her son.

The youth cleaned his mother's hands slowly. His tears fell as he did that. It was the first time he noticed that his mother's hands were so wrinkled and that there were so many bruises in her hands. Some bruises were so painful that his mother shivered when they were cleaned with water.

This was the first time the youth realized that it was this pair of hands that washed the clothes every day to enable him to pay the school fee. The bruises in the mother's hands were the price that the mother had to pay for his graduation, academic excellence and his future.

After finishing the cleaning of his mother hands, the youth quietly washed all the remaining clothes for his mother.

That night, mother and son talked for a very long time.

Next morning, the youth went to the director's office.

The Director noticed the tears in the youth's eyes and asked, "Can you tell me what you did and learned yesterday in your house?"

The youth answered, "I cleaned my mother's hands, and also finished cleaning all the remaining clothes."

The Director asked, "Please tell me your feelings."

The youth said, Number 1, I know now the meaning of appreciation. Without my mother, there would not be the successful me today. Number 2, by working together and helping my mother, only now I realize how difficult and tough it is to get something done. Number 3, I have come to appreciate the importance and value of family relationship.

The director said, " This is what I am looking for in my new manager. I want to recruit a person who can appreciate the help of others, a person who knows the sufferings of others to get things done, and a person who would not put money as his only goal in life. Son,you are hired."
 

Later on, this young person worked very hard, and received the respect of his subordinates. Every employee worked diligently and as a team. The company's performance improved tremendously.

A child, who has been over protected and habitually given whatever he or she wanted, would develop the entitlement mentality and would always put himself first. He would be ignorant of his parent's efforts. When he starts work, he assumes that every person must listen to him, and when he becomes a manager, he would never know the sufferings of his employees and would always blame others. This kind of person, may be good academically and may be successful for a while, but eventually would not feel a sense of achievement. He will grumble and be full of hatred and fight for more.
 

If we are this kind of protective parents, are we really showing love or are we destroying the kid instead?*

You can let your kid live in a big house, eat good meals, learn piano, watch a big screen TV. But when you are cutting grass, please let him experience it. After a meal, let him wash his plates and bowls together with his brothers and sisters. It is not because you do not have money to hire a maid, but it is because you want to love him in the right way. You want him to understand, no matter how rich his parents are, one day their hair will grow gray, same as the mother of that young man . The most important thing is your kid learns how to appreciate the effort and experience the difficulty and learns the ability to work with others to get things done.

Exam/Relax = Stress

Some of you may be surprised to find the title of the note.
Some of you may find this is ridiculous that I write a note just 24 hours before my first exam.
Well, let me clear the air.
This note is dedicated to all of us (having exam or not) who are facing stress in our life.
I feel pity to some of us who are troubled to control their degree of stress.
It includes me in the list.

I believe most of us know the meaning of stress.
Everyone has their own meaning of stress.
Some of us can take higher degree of stress as normal level,
while the others can't do that.
Hence I will not talk much about the stress itself.
In fact I'll talk more about the before and after effect of it.

During this exam period, I know the "kiasu" level increases exponentially.
And the relaxation/entertainment decreases in same way or more extreme.
(Well for some it isn't effected)
Hence the stress-meter tells us that we are at the level of almost break down.
Furthermore, the force to ourselves to get good grade (GPA) 5 makes it worse.
The combination of these make body as boiling machine that almost explodes due to the pressure.

The simple formula of for stress/pressure:
Pressure = Force / Area

In this case, pressure is our stress, force is our workload, and area is our body, mind, and mental.
As we know our workload is a constant.
Well you can't say that you only want to take one from seven examinations.
In addition the ECA, feeling, and relationship make the force bigger.
The area is a variable but under control.
You can't change it as you wish to a very large amount.
(Well you can't make your brain bigger).

Hence if we substitute the value to our formula we get:
Stress= (Exam+ECA+Feeling+Relation

ship) / (Body+Mind+Mental)

From this we can derive that:
1. If we don't have exam/ECA/feeling/relationship, our stress will decrease or better 0.
2. If we have bigger mind/mental/brain/body, our stress will decrease.

Is it possible to achieve the ideal condition? It's not theory calculation. It's experimental.

From my experience and observation, I suggest some of my idea:

1. Reduce the force/workload
Well it doesn't mean you have to take lesser subject (21->19). Yes, you can if you want.
What I suggest that you make your own study strategy. Don't copy others.
Please do you think if you follow A+ student so you'll become like them?
Our brain is a wonderful safety box. It can keep a huge number of memory.
But be careful that the memory is not kept in short term memory.
Make your own schedule/agenda. Plan well.

2. Improve your Body, Mental, and Mind
How to improve? You are the one that can answer it.
You know yourself better than others, don't you?
Exercise, do sport but don't over do it.
Keep positive thinking, if you already said to yourself that you're stupid, useless, and failure,
you'll be what you said. Hypnotize yourself with good and encouraging words.
Yes you can! Fighting! Be positive! I can make it!
Take time to relax and do stuffs that you like; games, facebook, singing, reading, dancing, etc.

It sounds repetitive and classic but it's TRUE.
As I said in my earlier note, BALANCING is the important aspect in life.
When you can balance everything, you life will mostly perfect. (I don't dare to say perfect).
This what we tend to forget. Balance your life well.
So it' doesn't mean that you study like crazy.
And also it doesn't mean that you play like crazy.
Remember BALANCE.

From the art of war, know yourself before the enemy.
Conquer yourself to conquer others.
It's true and applicable from times to times.
What is your strength? What is your weakness?
How does your strength help you in exam?
How does your weakness pull you down in exam?
What can you do to make your weakness be your strength?

Now let's share your experiences and ideas.
How do you handle your stress?
How do we make our life to be balance?
Leave comment as references for others.

Nothing is PERFECT

Can you get 100% pure gold?
Can you get 100% pure kindness?
Can you get 100% pure love?

Some of you know the answer, NO.
I'm not a typical dreamer who dreams about finding a true love.
That's why all Disney story is very popular.
They sell dream to the children, a dream about perfect world, ideal word.

BUT, too bad, there is no such ideal/perfect world in our real world.
This is not a Disney world where everything ends up happily ever after.
A typical ending for all Disney classic story.
They change everything and fix it to our imagination of world.
A true love, a perfect world, where good conquer bad.

A pure gold can't stand for itself. It's too soft to be used.
That's why when you go to the shop you may be find 99% but not 100%.
A pure love can't stand for itself. It's too fragile, easily break.
That's why when you have it you need to take extra caution about it.
A true kindness can't stand for itself. It's too beautiful to be true.
That's why there is no trust you always wonder a true motive behind something.

Have you wondered why God never created something as perfect?
If you say human is prefect, there will be no dead.
If you say flower is perfect, there will be no fading.
If you say life is perfect, there will be no sadness and trouble.

People always argue that this will make us strong.
This will tamper us to be a tough man.
That's true, this imperfectness makes us a strong human.
This will shape us into a strong human being.

If all is perfect, then human is just lazy and usefulness creature.
If all is perfect, we are just a cry baby and never be an adult.
If all is perfect, I will not learn new thing every second I breath.

Because we are imperfect, we can know each other and be social individual.
We help each other to cover our own imperfectness or defect.
Like gold need other to make it strong, we can't stand by ourselves.

But don't depend too much on other people. That's another human mistake.
Since we are not perfect then let other to complete us, fill us.
It's wrong. I don't agree with that statement.
Since I'm not perfect, I need to pursue my perfectness.
Even though I know I'll never be perfect but I always try to be perfect.
Live my life in perfect mode.
Love like perfect love.
Be kind as no reason to do it.

We are just God's creation and result of social evolution.
Yes, it's true BUT it's not reason we can't be perfect.
Perfectness is just mere standard made by ourselves.

How do you know whether you are perfect or not?
You ask other to mark you.
You look through yourself and mark yourself.
You follow society requirement to be perfect.

My friend, live your life to the fullest.
Have no regret when the time comes.
Try everything while you can and never look back.
That's your standard of perfectness.

Four Boyfriends in Our Life

 

Once upon a time there was a girl who had four boyfriends.

She loved the fourth boyfriend the most and adorned him with rich robes and treated him to the finest of delicacies. She gave him nothing but the best.

She also loved the third boyfriend very much and was always showing him off to neighboring kingdoms. However, she feared that one day he would leave her for another.

She also loved her second boyfriend. He was her confident and was always kind, considerate and patient with her. Whenever this girl faced a problem, she could confide in him, and he would help her get through the difficult times.

The girl's first boyfriend was a very loyal partner and had made great contributions in maintaining her wealth and kingdom. However, she did not love the first boyfriend. Although he loved her deeply, she hardly took notice of him!

One day, the girl fell ill and she knew her time was short. She thought of her luxurious life and wondered, 'I now have four boyfriends with me, but when I die, I'll be all alone.' Thus, she asked the fourth boyfriend, 'I loved you the most, endowed you with the finest clothing and showered great care over you. Now that I'm dying, will you follow me and keep me company?' 'No way!', replied the fourth boyfriend, and he walked away without another word. His answer cut like a sharp knife right into her heart.

The sad girl then asked the third boyfriend, 'I loved you all my life. Now that I'm dying, will you follow me and keep me company?' 'No!', replied the third boyfriend. 'Life is too good! When you die, I'm going to marry someone else!' Her heart sank and turned cold.

She then asked the second boyfriend, 'I have always turned to you for help and you've always been there for me. When I die, will you follow me and keep me company?' 'I'm sorry, I can't help you out this time!', replied the second boyfriend.. 'At the very most, I can only walk with you to your grave.' His answer struck her like a bolt of lightning, and the girl was devastated.

Then a voice called out: 'I'll go with you. I'll follow you no matter where you go.' The girl looked up, and there was her first boyfriend. He was very skinny as he suffered from malnutrition and neglect.

Greatly grieved, the girl said, 'I should have taken much better care of you when I had the chance!'

In truth, you have four boyfriends in your lives:

Your fourth boyfriend is your body. No matter how much time and effort you lavish in making it look good, it will leave you when you die. Your third boyfriend is your possessions, status and wealth. When you die, it will all go to others. Your second boyfriend is your family and friends. No matter how much they have been there for you, the furthest they can stay by you is up to the grave.

And your first boyfriend is your spirit. Often neglected in pursuit of wealth, power and pleasures of the world. However, your spirit is the only thing that will follow you where ever you go. Cultivate, strengthen and cherish it now, for it is the only part of you that will follow you to the throne of God and continue with you throughout Eternity.

Thought for the day: