A Letter to Dad

Last Sunday, we celebrated Father's Day.
For all fathers: Happy Father's Day, may you be a light and salt for the family.
For all children: Happy celebrating Father's Day, be a good child to your dad.
For all wives and mothers: Happy to see you with your loved one, may this will go to eternity.
And for those who don't have father: Happy to you who still have memory of your beloved father.

 And like me, who don't have the warm of father's hug anymore, we can only bring the memory of him.
Indeed we know that our father live forever in paradise.
Now I feel the pain of having no father around and envy them who still have complete family.
Happy are those whose family has both arm of father and mother.

This is just a letter that express my feeling towards my father.
It can be a reflection for you who miss your dad.
And also a reflection for you who still have dad to talk to and speak to.

I think I will do this more often to express my thought and feeling.
A letter to my dad who will never be able to read this.
A letter to my dad who is happy now in God's house.
A letter to my dad who will always pray for his son.

 

Dear Dad,

How are yo now? It's been a long time I see your face. Are you still healthy as before?
Are you happy there in God's house? Is that place better than home hence you leave first?
Don't you know how much mom cried near you asking you why you had to leave first?
Are you still that fat as before or have you slimmed down a bit?

Dad, I never imagined to say this, but I miss you now.
I really missed the time we had a conversation.
I really missed the time we spent time together as one family.
I really missed the time we had dinner together in our big table.

When you left us alone in silence, I asked God, why now? Why not later?
I never imagined to lose one of my parent so young when I still need them the most.
I don't care if my friend called me "spoiled brat".
I enjoy the time we had together, though you never speak a lot of words to me.
Though the memory I had are both smile and cry, happiness and sadness.
I always blame God for this, even till today.
Though I said to my self and friends I'm OK, I will never be OK.
I will never be the same anymore.
My heart was broken the moment I heard the news. I cried, I shouted, I went insane.

You left me before you saw me in my glory.
It was just one more year before I graduated, the moment you have been waiting for even till the last of your breathe. Why couldn't you wait for that moment? Why must God take you earlier?
People said that I didn't cry at all during your wake.
How could I cry if I really didn't understand what happened?
How could I make my mom sadder by crying with her?
How could I cry if I'm the only son in the family who has to be strong?
People just don't understand the pain that I felt that time.
I was pain that even tears couldn't wash it away.

But it was history. It was yesterday. It was my past part of my life story book.
I need to move on with my life and I believe you want me also to do the same.
Dad, did you know that now I have graduated?
Did you know how I wished you could see my graduation?
Did you know how I wanted to have picture taken with you in my robe?
How i wished you are seated there in the auditorium to see me in that stage.

I can't be a filial son to you.
Even now I was facing problem, I really don't know what to do.
Could you tell me what to do?
I can't meet my mom expectation and i believe it is also your expectation.
Have I failed you as a son?
Have I been a embarrassment to you?
I may not be the smartest student in my class.
I may not be the highest paid among my peers.
Surely I may not have  the proudest job among my friend
Do feel that I am a failure?
I wished you could talk and console me, how I want you to be with me, support me, and encourage me.
Let me be selfish this one time, dad I want to e just a child.
I don't want to grow up and be adult.
I just want to be with you like last time when I need not to worry  about anything at all.
Could I have that moment one more time and stay still?

I wish you all the best there dad. Enjoy your new life without pain and sadness.
Please watch me here with all your love.
Though in the silence, pray for your child to prove the world.
Let me be the son that make you proud the most.
Let me live your legacy here and to pay them who looked down on you.
I will make sure that they will pay every penny that they spent to mock you and mom.
I will defeat the world that has been hard on you and mom.
I will make sure your name will be remembered.

Please wait for me there. Till I come back to you, please be healthy and strong.
Protect our family and guard us with your shield.
Let me prove my self to you for once and all.

With love,

Your son

In Memoriam:

Me and My Dad

[Faith] Commitment = Marriage

In this rapid, fast, and dynamic environment, commitment becomes the very first issue in anything. It is applicable to our study life, club/organization, project, assignment, and even service to God. Let’s face this, we are NTU student, busy people, doing a lot of things, and thinking 24 hours a day is far from enough. On top of this, we still need to serve God in our community, let it be core team, executive committee, or church helper. All of these force us to have highly committed attitude so that we can handle it well. Now let us focus only in service to God, core team in our context. Are you an ex-core team? Or are you in core team? I believe we are quite familiar with the words; SPIRITUAL COMMITMENTS. Before I start, let me ask you this question,

“Do you think it is important to have SPIRITUAL COMMITMENTS as core team member?”
“If I’m not in the core team anymore, should I just quit this SPIRITUAL COMMITMENTS?”

These questions may be wandering in your mind, I hope so. If not, then I bring you the questions.

Let’s recall our mind, what are the SPIRITUAL COMMITMENTS?

1. Eucharist
2. Bible reading and reflection
3. Prayer life
4. Confession
5. Devotion to Mother Mary

It’s simple, sweet, and nicely put. But what is the meaning behind it actually? Can I just skip it? Do I need to do all? May I just do one at a time?

Commitment is equal to marriage. In marriage vow, the husband unites himself to the wife and vice versa. They are no longer two but become one. It’s the same thing when we are baptized. We no longer belong to ourselves but to the Church and HIM personally. We unite ourselves as body of Christ. In this union “take” and “give” action must take place. Same as husband and wife, the husband can’t give all the time and the wife can’t always take from the husband. Christ will always give us His blessing and love; we can take it freely anytime and anywhere. However we also need to give back to God and His people.

Do you think if we don’t do any of five commitments the glory of God will fall? NO. It won’t change anything. God will always be God. That’s why He is God and not like others King. We do those because our longing to Him and our love to Him. Deep inside our heart we are longing to be one with Him, our creator, you and me. All these five are only the path to bring us closer to Him and make Him known to us.

Hence whether we are in core team or not, as long as we are Catholic, the follower of Christ, we should uphold these commitments in daily life.

But nowadays many people didn’t realize that they need these paths. We are too busy and concerned with our earthly stuffs. I don’t say that we can’t do anything else. However we need to set time for these in our super busy and tight schedule. Let me explain why we do need to pursue this in daily life.

1. Eucharist

First and foremost is Eucharist. It’s not just the celebration. Moreover it’s about receiving the real body and blood of Christ in our human body. The real presence of Jesus in appearance of host will be received. When we take part in the communion, God’s love and blessing are poured upon us. We make God’s sanctuary inside our body. Don’t you remember Saint Paul’s word, “You are the temple of the Holy Spirit?” By eating the bread, God transforms our heart to be like Him. He changes us to be more like Him, remember the story in Genesis that God made us with his own image. We are the image of God and to make it even more we need to receive the real image through Eucharist. Father Gerard shared with us that our body had expiry date and it is seven days. Hence we need to be “relived” every week. Eucharist is the source of power, strength, joy, peace, and love. Where on earth can you find celebration which unites heaven and earth and God’s presence is made real?

2. Bible reading and reflection

Having received the body of Christ alone is not enough. There is old saying, “Know someone from his words.” Listening to God’s word make us become closer to Him, the speaker. Remember what Tommy said about listening to God. One way is to listen to God through his bible where the writer recorded His word to us. In Old Testament, Yahweh was speaking to His people, Israel, through the prophets. In New Testament, God was speaking through His son, Jesus. In fact, Jesus himself is words of God that made flesh. See the connection, to understand God, know God, and fall in love, we do need to listen to Him. After this we need to bring it to higher level, proclaiming the words of God. Jesus told his disciples to bring and spread the good news to the end of the world. We, in fact, are responsible to this task. Reflection helps us to relate and make the bible to daily practice. Hence the word is not just on the lips but also put in action. Do you remember the meaning of three crosses we make before the Gospel reading?

3. Prayer life

After listening to Him, we also want to talk back to Him. In every communication, it is a two ways communication that is effective to build relationship with someone. We don’t want just to listen but we also want to speak up. We want to have conversation with Him. How do we do that? The answer is through prayer. Prayer is one way to have conversation with God. It’s free, 24/7, anywhere, and not complicated. You don’t need anything, basically, just a heart and love to him. Even you don’t need a word in your prayer. Don’t you believe me?

4. Confession

Yes, we have good relationship now with God. We receive Him through Eucharist. We listen to him through bible. We have conversation with Him through prayer. Everything looks perfect, complete, and nice. What is lacking? In relationship, sometimes, or maybe most of times, we make mistake that hurt our partner. We don’t intend to do it but it happened. Then we apologize for it and promise that we’ll never do that again in future. Same story happens with our God. What is our mistake? SIN. Sin huts our God. It makes Him upset, sad, and angry, He fells betrayal from His beloved. Because of this we need to say sorry to Him. But it’s not enough, we need to change our life. Hence confession leads us to conversion. Conversion is moving forward to God’s face while leaving the sin behind. Pope John Paul II called for the universal conversion. Pope Benedict XVI called for whole Church conversion. In his homily, Pope Benedict said,

“We are not alone in this spiritual itinerary," Pope Benedict clarified, "because the Church accompanies and sustains us from the start with the Word of God, which encloses a program of spiritual life and penitential commitment, and with the grace of the sacraments.”

5. Devotion to Mother Mary

To know a person is through his friends. Friends and families are the one who know us the best. It is the same with our Lord. His friends and families are the one who know Him the best. Mother Mary knows Him very well. After all, she is His mother. Hence the devotion to our mother should bring us closer to our Lord, Jesus Christ. According to Legion of Mary handbook, a true devotion to our Mother will lead us to her son, Jesus Christ. Who are Jesus’ friends then? Saints who have done His will throughout the ages are His best friend. We can know Jesus from them, their life, action, charity, love, and activity. All of them resemble Jesus’ love to them. We need to learn and do it on our own. Pope John Paul II told the youth that everyone can be saint, are called to be saint. Pursue your own holiness.

From the explanation above you can see the connection between each other. We can opt to do one or worse do nothing. It will go in flow and continuously. And it doesn’t matter if you are core team or not, if your new to Catholic or not, if your are male or female, if you are young or old. Everyone is called to follow Jesus steps. That’s why we are called the follower of Christ. Remember the fourth point Archbishop Nicholas Chia told us during the Commissioning Mass, for community to be a good community you must have willingness to learn, fellowship, teaching, and reaching out. It’s not just for the community but for us also as individual. We do need these four factors for our growth. Spiritual commitments are the practical fruit. Do you want to be closer to God or you want to be far away from Him? Be careful of Spirituality Anorexia.