Lady Gaga VS "INDONEISA"

 Lady Gaga VS "INDONEISA"

Well as we know Lady Gaga's concert was CANCELED by her.

First of all let make some lines of understanding :

1.  I'm her fan, follow all her songs, like to listen them, and respect her as artist.
2. I'm a Catholic, believe in GOD, and don't intend to worship Satan in near future.
3. I'm just a normal boy who grew up in Indonesia for almost 20 years.

I hope you have some pictures of me :)

So let's see what's wrong with Lady Gaga to make her banned from entering Indonesia.
Yes Indonesia has 95% of Muslim population but there are Muslims who like Lady Gaga (IMHO).
And I don't think they will shift their religion just because of her.
Don't get me wrong. I don't say all what she did is right.

As my last blog entry not all we planned will go as planned (link).
However the result of this incident is huge; money, good name, chain effect.
I heard U2 considering to cancel their concert in Indonesia due to this.
We don't know who else will do the same or worse we get black list form big STAR.
And this will just benefit our neighbor (you know what I mean).

As a person who grew up in Catholic belief and East value, I understand why  people hate her to the bone.
But living in Singapore for 4 years make me encounter new perspectives.
I think there is some values that we need to learn from Gaga.
But I agree that there is also values that we need not to take from her.
For example we can learn how to be bold in giving our opinion.
Young people need to learn not to dictate what to do, instead they need to be innovative and creative.
We can see Gaga in believing  what she believes hence we can learn form it.
But there is limitation in showing our creativity.
I don't think you want to wear meat dress in Indonesia, unless you want people rape you to take the meat :p
Being sexy doesn't mean we need to be vulgar.

Actually without Gaga here Indonesia already faces problem with so called morality.
The honorable representatives were caught watching porn during meeting.
One were considered having sex video and the video was distributed all over the country.
So many of them are caught by corruption watch police due to corruption issue.
Is that what we called "honorable" to be role model of young people?
Is that what they want us to learn from television news everyday, every time, everywhere? It is even worse than Lady Gaga in a way.
At least Gaga teach us how to be true in ourselves (listen Born This Way).


Stop using religion/doctrine/dogma to stop "Westernization"  or modernization.
You can stop it for a while but at the end you will lose.
If not our country will lose to others.
Instead of that teach our young people what is right and wrong.
Show us the right way in doing, honest words to utter, and respectable behavior.
If you show us violence, don't blame us to be violence as well.
How many demonstration by young people tuned out to be violence?

Guard the young people with LOVE and RESPECT.

Teach us with action and not just word.

Show us example through your work.

Protect us with shield of TRUTH.

"Love and respect yourself. Guard yourself with strong conviction and belief. Protect yourself from lies and shield your soul with TRUTH."

Wilson Wijaya Lee/ 29 May 2012

A Story about LOVE

One, young, academically excellent person went to apply for a managerial position in a big company.

He passed the first interview. The director who did the last interview, made the last decision.

The director discovered from the CV that the youth's academic achievements were excellent all the way, from the secondary school until the postgraduate research. He never had a year when he did not score.

The director asked, "Did you obtain any scholarships in school?" The youth answered "none".

The director asked, "Was it your father who paid for your school fees?" The youth answered, "My father passed away when I was one year old. It was my mother who paid for my school fees."
 

The director asked, "Where did your mother work?" The youth answered, "My mother worked as a clothes cleaner." The director requested the youth to show his hands. The youth showed a pair of hands that were smooth and perfect.

The director asked, "Have you ever helped your mother wash the clothes before?" The youth answered, "Never, my mother always wanted me to study and read more books. Furthermore, my mother can wash clothes faster than me."
 

The director said, "I have a request. When you go back today, go and clean your mother's hands and then see me tomorrow morning."

The youth felt that his chance of landing the job was high. When he went back, he happily requested his mother to let him clean her hands. His mother felt strange, but with mixed feelings, she showed her hands to her son.

The youth cleaned his mother's hands slowly. His tears fell as he did that. It was the first time he noticed that his mother's hands were so wrinkled and that there were so many bruises in her hands. Some bruises were so painful that his mother shivered when they were cleaned with water.

This was the first time the youth realized that it was this pair of hands that washed the clothes every day to enable him to pay the school fee. The bruises in the mother's hands were the price that the mother had to pay for his graduation, academic excellence and his future.

After finishing the cleaning of his mother hands, the youth quietly washed all the remaining clothes for his mother.

That night, mother and son talked for a very long time.

Next morning, the youth went to the director's office.

The Director noticed the tears in the youth's eyes and asked, "Can you tell me what you did and learned yesterday in your house?"

The youth answered, "I cleaned my mother's hands, and also finished cleaning all the remaining clothes."

The Director asked, "Please tell me your feelings."

The youth said, Number 1, I know now the meaning of appreciation. Without my mother, there would not be the successful me today. Number 2, by working together and helping my mother, only now I realize how difficult and tough it is to get something done. Number 3, I have come to appreciate the importance and value of family relationship.

The director said, " This is what I am looking for in my new manager. I want to recruit a person who can appreciate the help of others, a person who knows the sufferings of others to get things done, and a person who would not put money as his only goal in life. Son,you are hired."
 

Later on, this young person worked very hard, and received the respect of his subordinates. Every employee worked diligently and as a team. The company's performance improved tremendously.

A child, who has been over protected and habitually given whatever he or she wanted, would develop the entitlement mentality and would always put himself first. He would be ignorant of his parent's efforts. When he starts work, he assumes that every person must listen to him, and when he becomes a manager, he would never know the sufferings of his employees and would always blame others. This kind of person, may be good academically and may be successful for a while, but eventually would not feel a sense of achievement. He will grumble and be full of hatred and fight for more.
 

If we are this kind of protective parents, are we really showing love or are we destroying the kid instead?*

You can let your kid live in a big house, eat good meals, learn piano, watch a big screen TV. But when you are cutting grass, please let him experience it. After a meal, let him wash his plates and bowls together with his brothers and sisters. It is not because you do not have money to hire a maid, but it is because you want to love him in the right way. You want him to understand, no matter how rich his parents are, one day their hair will grow gray, same as the mother of that young man . The most important thing is your kid learns how to appreciate the effort and experience the difficulty and learns the ability to work with others to get things done.

Departure to NEW Beginning

While watching Departure (Japanese movie), I make this note; 4.26 am.

I remember I made status note on facebook, stating:

"Nothing is last for forever, treasure every moment you have, cherish every time you get together, hold tight every thing you have NOW."

After watching the movie, it becomes clearer what it means to me.
Every human at one point will pass away and rest from all world things.
We're tired from all the problems, projects, tasks, and maybe life.
We want to sleep at peace and put everything behind.

Often we hear people say that death is beginning of a new journey.
It's not an end but a new starting point.
Like birth, death is also a turning point.
Death and life is like a piece of paper.
Side by side, face to face, both always walk together.

Isn't it funny?
When you die people will take care of you.
Other will decide the coffin, the burial place and ceremony, everything will be prepared for you.
When you die, you will not bring anything.
Just like you came to the world without bringing anything,
you will go back with the same way.
Do they spend hundreds or even thousands for the coffin?
Do they spend hundreds or even thousands for the burial?
Do they spend hundreds or even thousands for the grave?

Can you imagine when somebody leave you forever?
You can't touch, talk, hear, or even look him/her.
Let's say your mother, father, sister, brother, husband, or wife.
Until today, at this moment, I can't imagine I lose my special persons.
Even I know someday they will go and rest in peace.
I still need them all.

How about I leave them first?
Can they face it? Can I accept this fate?
Which one is the easiest choice, be the left one or be the person who leaves?
Can we choose? Do we know the answer?
Do we have any choice?

I think it'll be nice if I can be encoffineer.
I make sure my loved one grant eternal beauty.
I make sure my loved one get eternal rest peacefully.
I make sure my loved one give last memory to me.

Death is life.
Life is death.
When you live, live to the fullest.
Don't hold any regrets.
After you're tired, rest peacefully.
Your new beginning will start very soon after you wake up.

Emansipasi, Wanita=Pria?

"Ibu kita Kartini, putri sejati
putri Indonesia, harum namanya

Ibu kita Kartini, pendekar bangsa
pendekar kaumnya untuk merdeka

Wahai ibu kita Kartini
putri yang mulia
sungguh besar cita-citanya
bagi Indonesia"
Setiap tanggal 21 April, bangsa Indonesia merayakan Hari Kartini.
Hari kartini memperingati kelahiran Raden Ayu Kartini, salah satu "wonder women" Indonesia.
Kontribusinya sangat besr bagi kemajuan penyetaraan gender.
Siapa yang tidak kenal Beliau.

Masih ingat dulu waktu SD, tanggal 21 April diadakan upacara bendera.
Setiap siswa diminta untuk memakai baju daerah dan foto Kartini dipampang di tengah lapangan.
Lomba-lomba dan pagelaran seni juga ikut memeriahkan hari jadi Beliau.
Terus-menerus diingatkan bahwa Kartini adalah pencetus emansipasi wanita di Indonesia.
Wanita kedudukanya sama dengan pria. Mereka setara dengan kita, kaum pria.

Dari tahun 1879 (tahun kelahiran Kartini) sampai 2009 banyak perubahan terjadi di Indonesia.
Kaum wanita juga mulai unjuk gigi di ranah umum.
Prestasi yang membanggakan mungkin adalah ketika Ibu Megawati menjadi presiden wanita pertama.
Walau sebelumnya dia diganjal dan tidak dibolehkan menjadi presiden karena masalah gender.

Apakah ini menandakan Indonesia sudah benar-benar terbuka bagi kaum wanita?
Apakah kedudukan mereka sudah setara dengan kaum laki-laki?
Apakah wanita sama dengan laki-laki?

Opini pribadi saya, Indonesia masih belajar menghargai wanita.
Memang benar sudah banyak kaum wanita yang "go public", tetapi banyak juga kaum wanita yang masih ditekan oleh kaum adam.
Ambil contoh TKI, PSK, pembantu rumah tangga.

Masih banyak TKI kita yang mungkin akan mendapat kemalangan di negri orang ditipu oleh orang sendiri.
Jauh menjadi TKI, mereka malah dijual menjadi penghibur dan pemuas nafsu laki-laki.
Dengan iming-iming gaji besar, mereka dibawa ke kota besar dari desa untuk dididik oleh "mami".
Miris melihat wanita bercita-cita untuk sekolah tinggi, tetapi harus putus sekolah karena masalah ekonomi dan gender.
Masih banyak generasi lama yang menganut laki-laki harus maju lebih dahulu dari perempuan.
Saya teringat pernyataan Ibu Megawati ketika berjumpa dengan ibu-ibu di sebuah pasar di Jawa:

"Mana yang dipilih untuk disekolahkan, anak laki-laki yang biasa-biasa saja atau anak perempuan yang lebih pintar? Tentu saja anak laki-laki toh?"

Sekali lagi, masalah ekonomi menjadi penghalang bagi emansipasi

Sama seperti kaum Tionghoa, anak laki-laki adalah putra mahkota di keluarga.
Mengapa tidak, mereka yang akan meneruskan nama keluarga.
Ketika menikah wanita diwajibkan untuk mengikuti nama keluarga suami.
Hal yang wajar bagi masyarakat dengan sistem patrealisme.
Jadi, lebih untung menginvestasikan dana ke anak laki-laki daripada perempuan.
Toh akhirnya anak perempuan akan diambil oelh keluarga orang.

Masyarakat tidak mungkin berubah pandangan dalam waktu semalam.
Semua ini membutuhkan proses yang panjang dan pasti akan menghadapai kendala.
Tidak hanya di Indonesia, di negara lain pun penyetaraan gender masih menjadi masalah.
Tetapi, adanya usaha dan perjuangan tanpa henti untuk mengusahakan penyetaraan gender sudah baik.
Perlunya penekanan akan kesadaran pria dan wanita kedudukannya sama dan diciptakan untuk saling melengkapi bukan saling menjajah atau menguasai.

Jadi, tidak benar bila pria menjajah perempuan.
Lebih tidak benar lagi wanita menjajah pria.
Istilah suami takut istri dan istri takut suamin seharusnya tidak ada di kamus kita.
Perlu diingatkan wanita tidak sama dan tidak akan pernah sama dengan pria.
Adanya rasa saling mengerti dan menghormati adalah mutlak dalam hubungan pria dan wanita.
Memang benar sekarang wanita bisa melakukan pekerjaan pria dan sebaliknya, tetapi fungsi utama dan pertama setiap gender tidak akan bisa digantikan.

Wanita tidak akan pernah bisa menhasilkan sperma untuk membuahi ovum.
Laki-laki tidak akan pernah bisa melahairkan tanpa ovarium dan kelenjar susu.
Wanita diciptkan dari tulang rusuk laki-laki,
bukan dari tulang tengkorak untuk memerintah laki-laki
bukan dari tulang kaki untuk menjadi budak laki-laki.
Wanita diciptakan sejajar dengan pria agar kita saling menhormati dan menghargai serta melengkapi satu sama lain.

Happy Katini's Day 2009