Question about LIFE: Have you???

Purpose of Life

If you follow my twitter account then you will know what I'm talking about.

Well for those who have no idea what I'm talking about well let me quote my twitter:

Question about life:1. Have you found joy in your life? 2. Have you brought joy to other people life? 3. Have you made meaning of your life?

~Wilson Wijaya, Lee/30 June 2012~

This tweet later  gained comment from one of my best friend:

Friend: Not at all. Any solution for this?

Me: I'm also on the way to find the answer. Everyone will surely have different answer. Depend on your own standard.

Then you will ask me, how the hell I get to ask these questions?

\This morning, 3AM to be exact, I watched The Bucket List on TV. The movie was really good and keep me reflecting on myself how far I have went. What will be on my bucket list to achieve before I "kick the bucket"? Where is the end of it and when will the end come?

There was conversation on movie on Greek paradise, to be able to pass the gate you have to answer the questions. Then what will be you answer, have you thought about it before? It's funny to know that most of the time we life our life as it is.

Well people say let it flow like river stream till it find the final end.

However to live my life to fullest I need to know what the purpose of my life. Sure enough I believe all of you also looking for the most final answer. What is the purpose of your life?

I think through this question we can narrow down our meditation about purpose life.

1. To find joy in our life.

2. To share the joy with others.

Hence we can make a meaningful life in our road to final end.

Either you believe in  God or not, heaven or hell, karma, etc the life is too good to be wasted. We only have one life; unless you believe in reincarnation. Though you believe that you will be born again, you will not repeat the same life. Each life is unique and different according to you.

I'm not a spiritual leader nor a wise old man. I don't really like to have a deep thought and meditation. However it struck me to think about my life. The thinking is so deep yet so engaging to keep me go deeper. In religion they tell you that purpose of life is to be together with your creator, to be free from all misery, and to find final rest and peace.

Knowing that it doesn't make my life can go in waste and doing nothing.

Living my life to fullest give more meaning by making a way to make a value of my life.

I won't teach you how to live you life, it's your choice to make.

But I would like to engage you in reflection and thinking how you want to fill your life.

If you choose to make a meaning in life, please do so.

If you do otherwise, I will not against it as long as you don't disturb others.

Answering the Question

Back to my friend comment, any solution to answer the question. No, I have no solution till now, you can follow Buddha, Jesus, Muhammad, or any other religious figure on earth. Else you can make your own spiritual guide on answering the question. I think the best answer is YOU, yes it depends on how YOU see and live it. I will try to help you answering the question through reflecting question. Let me break the explanation to each question:

1. Have you found joy in your life?

Before answering this question, please answer the following question in your heart. Give a thought. What is joy in your life? Having a lot of money? Having a big house? Having a big name and famous? So far what have you done to make it happen in your life? Education? Religion? Work? What defines the joy in your life? What values that effect you? Religion? Philosophy? Social norm?

Joy is a joy as long as it fill your heat. For me a joy is when a mother gives birth with love to her child. Joy is when a father dies to protect his child. Joy is when a child can live a happy life with their parent.

I may not be rich to found joy, may be my poor situation make me find joy and value in money.

I may not be clever to found joy, completing degree with my best effort is a joy for me.

I may not be religious to found joy, having a simple prayer in my room is joy of life.

As you can see the situation and condition limit the meaning of joy.

They define and make meaning of joy itself and back to YOU.

Hence the answer I suggest is WHAT DO YOU THINK?

2. Have you brought joy to other people life?

Well this is an arrogance question. I could say I have big impact for thousands or billions lives. If you see it like that, Jesus or Buddha or Muhammad have brought joys to their follower. Then until we can be like them, we have not brought any joy to other people. WRONG, I don't think so. Even just one people means that I have brought joy to him/her. Have you treated your spouse well? Have you loved them as yourself?

A teacher gives joy to student trough teaching. A mother gives joy to her child through love and care. A man gives joy to a woman though sharing of love and life. A simple smile can bring thousand joy to some people but at the same time can bring sadness. Everything has two side of coin in it, bad and good. Again it backs to situation and condition how it will turn out.

Money can bring joy to a family but at the same time can be a disaster. Love can bring joy to people but at the same time can hurt them deeply. To bring joy to people for me means to know what to offer to them. Simple conversation can be a joy. Your presence can be be a joy. A kiss can be a joy. Hence the answer I suggest is WHAT HAVE YOU DONE?

3. Have you made a meaning of your life?

If wasting your life is what you chose, then you have made meaning of it. If developing your talents made you happy, then you have made it. If having family is your sole purpose, then you have got it. A value comes from the owner how he/she values the value. If you see my past entry on Words about Working Bryan Dyson said:

Value has value only if its value is valued.

I think this the answer of this question. A meaning has a purpose and mean only if you give the meaning to it. Hence the answer I suggest is WHAT MEANING YOU GIVE MEANING TO IT?

Conclusion

A life is only life until you give meaning to it.

Whether you will succeed in your life or you will fail it, the decision is yours.

The question can be a guide to you to pass though the road of life.

You can make it as a mere question that pass you one day.

Or you can make it as obsession to fulfill your desire.

Else you can make it as guide and reference to move on.

I aint a teacher nor a philosopher, just a normal student of knowledge and wisdom.

However don't get blinded by the question till you forget what is truly important.

Stay still, stop, think, and reflect is good as long as you decide the next step.

If you stop at some point and  not moving on, I wish that is the point when you have found the answer.

If not then i suggest you to keep moving forward with new perspective.

Life is a choice whatever you chose please be responsible about it.

~Wilson Wijaya, Lee/30 June 2012~

A Story about LOVE

One, young, academically excellent person went to apply for a managerial position in a big company.

He passed the first interview. The director who did the last interview, made the last decision.

The director discovered from the CV that the youth's academic achievements were excellent all the way, from the secondary school until the postgraduate research. He never had a year when he did not score.

The director asked, "Did you obtain any scholarships in school?" The youth answered "none".

The director asked, "Was it your father who paid for your school fees?" The youth answered, "My father passed away when I was one year old. It was my mother who paid for my school fees."
 

The director asked, "Where did your mother work?" The youth answered, "My mother worked as a clothes cleaner." The director requested the youth to show his hands. The youth showed a pair of hands that were smooth and perfect.

The director asked, "Have you ever helped your mother wash the clothes before?" The youth answered, "Never, my mother always wanted me to study and read more books. Furthermore, my mother can wash clothes faster than me."
 

The director said, "I have a request. When you go back today, go and clean your mother's hands and then see me tomorrow morning."

The youth felt that his chance of landing the job was high. When he went back, he happily requested his mother to let him clean her hands. His mother felt strange, but with mixed feelings, she showed her hands to her son.

The youth cleaned his mother's hands slowly. His tears fell as he did that. It was the first time he noticed that his mother's hands were so wrinkled and that there were so many bruises in her hands. Some bruises were so painful that his mother shivered when they were cleaned with water.

This was the first time the youth realized that it was this pair of hands that washed the clothes every day to enable him to pay the school fee. The bruises in the mother's hands were the price that the mother had to pay for his graduation, academic excellence and his future.

After finishing the cleaning of his mother hands, the youth quietly washed all the remaining clothes for his mother.

That night, mother and son talked for a very long time.

Next morning, the youth went to the director's office.

The Director noticed the tears in the youth's eyes and asked, "Can you tell me what you did and learned yesterday in your house?"

The youth answered, "I cleaned my mother's hands, and also finished cleaning all the remaining clothes."

The Director asked, "Please tell me your feelings."

The youth said, Number 1, I know now the meaning of appreciation. Without my mother, there would not be the successful me today. Number 2, by working together and helping my mother, only now I realize how difficult and tough it is to get something done. Number 3, I have come to appreciate the importance and value of family relationship.

The director said, " This is what I am looking for in my new manager. I want to recruit a person who can appreciate the help of others, a person who knows the sufferings of others to get things done, and a person who would not put money as his only goal in life. Son,you are hired."
 

Later on, this young person worked very hard, and received the respect of his subordinates. Every employee worked diligently and as a team. The company's performance improved tremendously.

A child, who has been over protected and habitually given whatever he or she wanted, would develop the entitlement mentality and would always put himself first. He would be ignorant of his parent's efforts. When he starts work, he assumes that every person must listen to him, and when he becomes a manager, he would never know the sufferings of his employees and would always blame others. This kind of person, may be good academically and may be successful for a while, but eventually would not feel a sense of achievement. He will grumble and be full of hatred and fight for more.
 

If we are this kind of protective parents, are we really showing love or are we destroying the kid instead?*

You can let your kid live in a big house, eat good meals, learn piano, watch a big screen TV. But when you are cutting grass, please let him experience it. After a meal, let him wash his plates and bowls together with his brothers and sisters. It is not because you do not have money to hire a maid, but it is because you want to love him in the right way. You want him to understand, no matter how rich his parents are, one day their hair will grow gray, same as the mother of that young man . The most important thing is your kid learns how to appreciate the effort and experience the difficulty and learns the ability to work with others to get things done.

What are key factors for my future career?

Conclusion 

  

Based on interviewee as well as analysis and discussion, and reading the prescribed text and recommended readings for this course, the two key factors that will be taken into account in career planning and development for food and beverage industry, the owner of a medium restaurant and a bakery shop and an entrepreneur is motivation driver and values.

Motivation is very important to achieve goals in order to fulfill some need or expectation. Motivation is what an individual can do, will do (given the ability) and allowed to do (Kant, 2009). Motivation also leads to degree to which an individual wants and chooses to commit in certain act. There are a lot of uncertainties in the future, but motivation will drive individual to strive and fight. Like Madam Lim, her motivations drive her despite of her illness, running the restaurant and bakery shop alone. She wanted to see her children graduated from university. In order to do so, she worked hard to earn living and save money for university fees. Finding the right motivation will keep individual stand after so many falls. To be an entrepreneur, motivation will help to cope with unpredictable result; whether the business will be successful or failed.  

Motivation is like oil and fire is career. Without oil the fire will die. Simultaneously career can grow with unending motivation.

However finding the right motivation is another issue. Luckily Madam Lim found the right motivation for her. It was not money or social status but family and good education. Hence motivation must be supported by personal values. Values will build personality. The religion, parent, community, and school provide individual with right values. Each individual has to develop it as guidance in doing anything. It becomes integrity of each person. Guy Kawasaki on The Art of Start mentioned that the company should try to make meaning not a lot of money. By making meaning there is chance for the company to make money. Whereas by making money the company can destroy meaning. It is similar to career. The career should make value in contrast to popular believe that career should make a lot of money. If individual don’t have integrity, they will use any means to achieve their goal. In other word they can use illegal way to get what they want. In conclusion motivation with right values and integrity are the requirement to work in 21st century.

[Faith] Commitment = Marriage

In this rapid, fast, and dynamic environment, commitment becomes the very first issue in anything. It is applicable to our study life, club/organization, project, assignment, and even service to God. Let’s face this, we are NTU student, busy people, doing a lot of things, and thinking 24 hours a day is far from enough. On top of this, we still need to serve God in our community, let it be core team, executive committee, or church helper. All of these force us to have highly committed attitude so that we can handle it well. Now let us focus only in service to God, core team in our context. Are you an ex-core team? Or are you in core team? I believe we are quite familiar with the words; SPIRITUAL COMMITMENTS. Before I start, let me ask you this question,

“Do you think it is important to have SPIRITUAL COMMITMENTS as core team member?”
“If I’m not in the core team anymore, should I just quit this SPIRITUAL COMMITMENTS?”

These questions may be wandering in your mind, I hope so. If not, then I bring you the questions.

Let’s recall our mind, what are the SPIRITUAL COMMITMENTS?

1. Eucharist
2. Bible reading and reflection
3. Prayer life
4. Confession
5. Devotion to Mother Mary

It’s simple, sweet, and nicely put. But what is the meaning behind it actually? Can I just skip it? Do I need to do all? May I just do one at a time?

Commitment is equal to marriage. In marriage vow, the husband unites himself to the wife and vice versa. They are no longer two but become one. It’s the same thing when we are baptized. We no longer belong to ourselves but to the Church and HIM personally. We unite ourselves as body of Christ. In this union “take” and “give” action must take place. Same as husband and wife, the husband can’t give all the time and the wife can’t always take from the husband. Christ will always give us His blessing and love; we can take it freely anytime and anywhere. However we also need to give back to God and His people.

Do you think if we don’t do any of five commitments the glory of God will fall? NO. It won’t change anything. God will always be God. That’s why He is God and not like others King. We do those because our longing to Him and our love to Him. Deep inside our heart we are longing to be one with Him, our creator, you and me. All these five are only the path to bring us closer to Him and make Him known to us.

Hence whether we are in core team or not, as long as we are Catholic, the follower of Christ, we should uphold these commitments in daily life.

But nowadays many people didn’t realize that they need these paths. We are too busy and concerned with our earthly stuffs. I don’t say that we can’t do anything else. However we need to set time for these in our super busy and tight schedule. Let me explain why we do need to pursue this in daily life.

1. Eucharist

First and foremost is Eucharist. It’s not just the celebration. Moreover it’s about receiving the real body and blood of Christ in our human body. The real presence of Jesus in appearance of host will be received. When we take part in the communion, God’s love and blessing are poured upon us. We make God’s sanctuary inside our body. Don’t you remember Saint Paul’s word, “You are the temple of the Holy Spirit?” By eating the bread, God transforms our heart to be like Him. He changes us to be more like Him, remember the story in Genesis that God made us with his own image. We are the image of God and to make it even more we need to receive the real image through Eucharist. Father Gerard shared with us that our body had expiry date and it is seven days. Hence we need to be “relived” every week. Eucharist is the source of power, strength, joy, peace, and love. Where on earth can you find celebration which unites heaven and earth and God’s presence is made real?

2. Bible reading and reflection

Having received the body of Christ alone is not enough. There is old saying, “Know someone from his words.” Listening to God’s word make us become closer to Him, the speaker. Remember what Tommy said about listening to God. One way is to listen to God through his bible where the writer recorded His word to us. In Old Testament, Yahweh was speaking to His people, Israel, through the prophets. In New Testament, God was speaking through His son, Jesus. In fact, Jesus himself is words of God that made flesh. See the connection, to understand God, know God, and fall in love, we do need to listen to Him. After this we need to bring it to higher level, proclaiming the words of God. Jesus told his disciples to bring and spread the good news to the end of the world. We, in fact, are responsible to this task. Reflection helps us to relate and make the bible to daily practice. Hence the word is not just on the lips but also put in action. Do you remember the meaning of three crosses we make before the Gospel reading?

3. Prayer life

After listening to Him, we also want to talk back to Him. In every communication, it is a two ways communication that is effective to build relationship with someone. We don’t want just to listen but we also want to speak up. We want to have conversation with Him. How do we do that? The answer is through prayer. Prayer is one way to have conversation with God. It’s free, 24/7, anywhere, and not complicated. You don’t need anything, basically, just a heart and love to him. Even you don’t need a word in your prayer. Don’t you believe me?

4. Confession

Yes, we have good relationship now with God. We receive Him through Eucharist. We listen to him through bible. We have conversation with Him through prayer. Everything looks perfect, complete, and nice. What is lacking? In relationship, sometimes, or maybe most of times, we make mistake that hurt our partner. We don’t intend to do it but it happened. Then we apologize for it and promise that we’ll never do that again in future. Same story happens with our God. What is our mistake? SIN. Sin huts our God. It makes Him upset, sad, and angry, He fells betrayal from His beloved. Because of this we need to say sorry to Him. But it’s not enough, we need to change our life. Hence confession leads us to conversion. Conversion is moving forward to God’s face while leaving the sin behind. Pope John Paul II called for the universal conversion. Pope Benedict XVI called for whole Church conversion. In his homily, Pope Benedict said,

“We are not alone in this spiritual itinerary," Pope Benedict clarified, "because the Church accompanies and sustains us from the start with the Word of God, which encloses a program of spiritual life and penitential commitment, and with the grace of the sacraments.”

5. Devotion to Mother Mary

To know a person is through his friends. Friends and families are the one who know us the best. It is the same with our Lord. His friends and families are the one who know Him the best. Mother Mary knows Him very well. After all, she is His mother. Hence the devotion to our mother should bring us closer to our Lord, Jesus Christ. According to Legion of Mary handbook, a true devotion to our Mother will lead us to her son, Jesus Christ. Who are Jesus’ friends then? Saints who have done His will throughout the ages are His best friend. We can know Jesus from them, their life, action, charity, love, and activity. All of them resemble Jesus’ love to them. We need to learn and do it on our own. Pope John Paul II told the youth that everyone can be saint, are called to be saint. Pursue your own holiness.

From the explanation above you can see the connection between each other. We can opt to do one or worse do nothing. It will go in flow and continuously. And it doesn’t matter if you are core team or not, if your new to Catholic or not, if your are male or female, if you are young or old. Everyone is called to follow Jesus steps. That’s why we are called the follower of Christ. Remember the fourth point Archbishop Nicholas Chia told us during the Commissioning Mass, for community to be a good community you must have willingness to learn, fellowship, teaching, and reaching out. It’s not just for the community but for us also as individual. We do need these four factors for our growth. Spiritual commitments are the practical fruit. Do you want to be closer to God or you want to be far away from Him? Be careful of Spirituality Anorexia.

What is my Passion?

Arghhhhhhhh again and again I complain about my life.
Well not really complaining more on the crying about it.
The reason is as simple as I don't know what my passion is.

Well I can ask other what they think about my passion,
but it's not the point of others tell me of what to do.
It'll be useless if it doesn't come from my heart.
When doing something with so much passion,
it doesn't matter about the result.

Let me talk stupid thing with you.
Have you ever realize your passion?
Either study, music, film, public speaking, acting, drama,singing, etc.
When you have the passion, you'll do it happily without hesitation.
Even in the point you'll fail, you still can stand up and redo it with your passion.
We can see how important passion in doing something.
It really helps you a lot.

Now, when you don't have any passion or mood doing something,
do you think you can do it?
Well, maybe yes or no.
Yes you can still do it, but you don't know the result.
If the result goes right, you'll just say it's good enough.
If the result goes wrong, you'll mostly leave it as it is.
No you can't do it.
How do you expect someone doing something he/she doesn't like?
It's impossible to make it, even it's possible, I bet you'll get good result of it.

I believe most of us can see the difference.
In our real life, you can see many people doing something for their passion or not.
Some people chase money, higher social status, fame, good grade etc as their motivation.
Others just do it for their satisfaction in life.

As we reflect to ourselves, what motivates you in doing something?
It is simply a calling of passion in your heart or any other motivation.
When you have enough money, will you feel satisfied?
When you have high social status, will you aim higher?
When you have fame as you wanted, will you die for it?
When you have the highest grade in class, will you feel proud of it?
When you had enough, you'll stop since you don't have other reason of doing it.

The passion sustains human in doing and accomplish many things till now.
The passion of film, drama, and acting make Oscar to be the most prestigious award.
The passion of music, singing, and harmony make Grammy to be the highest achievement award.
The passion of peace, God, and service make religious life to be the most valuable way of life.
The passion of science, truth, and charity make Noble to be the most honorable award.

Everyone is indeed different from each other.
Same passion can drive people differently.
But same passion will make people success in their pursuit of happiness.
So what is your passion in life?
Have you fulfilled your passion?

What's wrong with Susan Boyle?

Susan Boyle, 47 years old woman from British Got Talent. She is not really pretty lady. She is far away from entertainer's look like we often see on television. She is not really sexually attractive. She said she hasn't been kissed and lived with her cat in her house. But she has something that sometimes people forgot to see: DREAM.

I believe all of you know about her, at least heard about her. The phenomenal audition in British Got talent has struck everyone who watched it. More than 25 million viewers and still can grow more watch the audition on youtube. It's funny, isn't it.

What does make her so different?

I watched the audition for more than 20 times now. I looked for comment video from yotube; NBC, CNN, and other news program. There is a interesting comment made by the anchor:


"If Susan is pretty, sexy lady, will she become famous like this? It's just because she is not beautiful. It makes her interesting."

Well, I can say I agree and disagree with that.
Yes, it becomes interesting since she is not pretty.
But, she is truly beautiful.
She is full of confidence, brave, and never stopping to dream.
She chosen a right song for her audition "I dreamed a dream-Les Miserables"
Susan Boyle's audition

Like the Amanda, one of the judges of BGT, said:

 
"I'm so thrilled because I knew everybody was against you.
I honestly think that we were all being cynical and IT'S THE BIGGEST WAKE UP CALL EVER, and I just want to say that it's a complete privilege to listening to that."

Yup, that's what Susan brought to us. A wake up call. Never judge a book from its cover. From simple, humble, and unattractive woman, come out beautiful voice like an angel. We tend to think ugly people, the less attractive ones, is not important. They make our world become ugly, not beautiful.
They are like eyesore and need to be disposed or be covered.

What make Susan become superstar is not 100% her voice.
I agree she has beautiful voice, but other people also have it.
What she has that make her different is DREAM.

She dreamed for 47 years to sing in front of many people.
She dreamed for 47 years to become professional singer.
She dreamed for 47 years to rock her audience.

And this what sometimes other programs forgot to bring to surface. Not only family background, social background, appearance, but also about hope and dream. Idol program is here to make dream of person like Susan to become reality. We have a lot of entertainer with good look, sexy body, nice voice,and young age. But we do need person like Susan who teaches us never stop dreaming.

Someday your dream will come true and you need to believe it.

Even though people look down on you.
Even though people mock you in public.
Even though people laugh at you.
Even though people say it can't happen.
Even though people don't support you.
Just believe in yourself.

Show the world you have talent.
Roar to the world your voice.
Shout to the world your dream.
Tell the world your talent and dream.
That's what Susan has taught us and me.

"I dreamed a dream in time gone by
When hope was high,
And life worth living
I dreamed that love would never die
I dreamed that God would be forgiving."

Four Boyfriends in Our Life

 

Once upon a time there was a girl who had four boyfriends.

She loved the fourth boyfriend the most and adorned him with rich robes and treated him to the finest of delicacies. She gave him nothing but the best.

She also loved the third boyfriend very much and was always showing him off to neighboring kingdoms. However, she feared that one day he would leave her for another.

She also loved her second boyfriend. He was her confident and was always kind, considerate and patient with her. Whenever this girl faced a problem, she could confide in him, and he would help her get through the difficult times.

The girl's first boyfriend was a very loyal partner and had made great contributions in maintaining her wealth and kingdom. However, she did not love the first boyfriend. Although he loved her deeply, she hardly took notice of him!

One day, the girl fell ill and she knew her time was short. She thought of her luxurious life and wondered, 'I now have four boyfriends with me, but when I die, I'll be all alone.' Thus, she asked the fourth boyfriend, 'I loved you the most, endowed you with the finest clothing and showered great care over you. Now that I'm dying, will you follow me and keep me company?' 'No way!', replied the fourth boyfriend, and he walked away without another word. His answer cut like a sharp knife right into her heart.

The sad girl then asked the third boyfriend, 'I loved you all my life. Now that I'm dying, will you follow me and keep me company?' 'No!', replied the third boyfriend. 'Life is too good! When you die, I'm going to marry someone else!' Her heart sank and turned cold.

She then asked the second boyfriend, 'I have always turned to you for help and you've always been there for me. When I die, will you follow me and keep me company?' 'I'm sorry, I can't help you out this time!', replied the second boyfriend.. 'At the very most, I can only walk with you to your grave.' His answer struck her like a bolt of lightning, and the girl was devastated.

Then a voice called out: 'I'll go with you. I'll follow you no matter where you go.' The girl looked up, and there was her first boyfriend. He was very skinny as he suffered from malnutrition and neglect.

Greatly grieved, the girl said, 'I should have taken much better care of you when I had the chance!'

In truth, you have four boyfriends in your lives:

Your fourth boyfriend is your body. No matter how much time and effort you lavish in making it look good, it will leave you when you die. Your third boyfriend is your possessions, status and wealth. When you die, it will all go to others. Your second boyfriend is your family and friends. No matter how much they have been there for you, the furthest they can stay by you is up to the grave.

And your first boyfriend is your spirit. Often neglected in pursuit of wealth, power and pleasures of the world. However, your spirit is the only thing that will follow you where ever you go. Cultivate, strengthen and cherish it now, for it is the only part of you that will follow you to the throne of God and continue with you throughout Eternity.

Thought for the day: