Friday, June 17, 2011
Saturday, February 26, 2011
A Story about LOVE
One, young, academically excellent person went to apply for a managerial position in a big company.
He passed the first interview. The director who did the last interview, made the last decision.
The director discovered from the CV that the youth's academic achievements were excellent all the way, from the secondary school until the postgraduate research. He never had a year when he did not score.
The director asked, "Did you obtain any scholarships in school?" The youth answered "none".
The director asked, "Was it your father who paid for your school fees?" The youth answered, "My father passed away when I was one year old. It was my mother who paid for my school fees."
He passed the first interview. The director who did the last interview, made the last decision.
The director discovered from the CV that the youth's academic achievements were excellent all the way, from the secondary school until the postgraduate research. He never had a year when he did not score.
The director asked, "Did you obtain any scholarships in school?" The youth answered "none".
The director asked, "Was it your father who paid for your school fees?" The youth answered, "My father passed away when I was one year old. It was my mother who paid for my school fees."
The director asked, "Where did your mother work?" The youth answered, "My mother worked as a clothes cleaner." The director requested the youth to show his hands. The youth showed a pair of hands that were smooth and perfect.
The director asked, "Have you ever helped your mother wash the clothes before?" The youth answered, "Never, my mother always wanted me to study and read more books. Furthermore, my mother can wash clothes faster than me."
The director asked, "Have you ever helped your mother wash the clothes before?" The youth answered, "Never, my mother always wanted me to study and read more books. Furthermore, my mother can wash clothes faster than me."
The director said, "I have a request. When you go back today, go and clean your mother's hands and then see me tomorrow morning."
The youth felt that his chance of landing the job was high. When he went back, he happily requested his mother to let him clean her hands. His mother felt strange, but with mixed feelings, she showed her hands to her son.
The youth cleaned his mother's hands slowly. His tears fell as he did that. It was the first time he noticed that his mother's hands were so wrinkled and that there were so many bruises in her hands. Some bruises were so painful that his mother shivered when they were cleaned with water.
This was the first time the youth realized that it was this pair of hands that washed the clothes every day to enable him to pay the school fee. The bruises in the mother's hands were the price that the mother had to pay for his graduation, academic excellence and his future.
After finishing the cleaning of his mother hands, the youth quietly washed all the remaining clothes for his mother.
That night, mother and son talked for a very long time.
Next morning, the youth went to the director's office.
The Director noticed the tears in the youth's eyes and asked, "Can you tell me what you did and learned yesterday in your house?"
The youth answered, "I cleaned my mother's hands, and also finished cleaning all the remaining clothes."
The Director asked, "Please tell me your feelings."
The youth said, Number 1, I know now the meaning of appreciation. Without my mother, there would not be the successful me today. Number 2, by working together and helping my mother, only now I realize how difficult and tough it is to get something done. Number 3, I have come to appreciate the importance and value of family relationship.
The director said, " This is what I am looking for in my new manager. I want to recruit a person who can appreciate the help of others, a person who knows the sufferings of others to get things done, and a person who would not put money as his only goal in life. Son,you are hired."
The youth felt that his chance of landing the job was high. When he went back, he happily requested his mother to let him clean her hands. His mother felt strange, but with mixed feelings, she showed her hands to her son.
The youth cleaned his mother's hands slowly. His tears fell as he did that. It was the first time he noticed that his mother's hands were so wrinkled and that there were so many bruises in her hands. Some bruises were so painful that his mother shivered when they were cleaned with water.
This was the first time the youth realized that it was this pair of hands that washed the clothes every day to enable him to pay the school fee. The bruises in the mother's hands were the price that the mother had to pay for his graduation, academic excellence and his future.
After finishing the cleaning of his mother hands, the youth quietly washed all the remaining clothes for his mother.
That night, mother and son talked for a very long time.
Next morning, the youth went to the director's office.
The Director noticed the tears in the youth's eyes and asked, "Can you tell me what you did and learned yesterday in your house?"
The youth answered, "I cleaned my mother's hands, and also finished cleaning all the remaining clothes."
The Director asked, "Please tell me your feelings."
The youth said, Number 1, I know now the meaning of appreciation. Without my mother, there would not be the successful me today. Number 2, by working together and helping my mother, only now I realize how difficult and tough it is to get something done. Number 3, I have come to appreciate the importance and value of family relationship.
The director said, " This is what I am looking for in my new manager. I want to recruit a person who can appreciate the help of others, a person who knows the sufferings of others to get things done, and a person who would not put money as his only goal in life. Son,you are hired."
Later on, this young person worked very hard, and received the respect of his subordinates. Every employee worked diligently and as a team. The company's performance improved tremendously.
A child, who has been over protected and habitually given whatever he or she wanted, would develop the entitlement mentality and would always put himself first. He would be ignorant of his parent's efforts. When he starts work, he assumes that every person must listen to him, and when he becomes a manager, he would never know the sufferings of his employees and would always blame others. This kind of person, may be good academically and may be successful for a while, but eventually would not feel a sense of achievement. He will grumble and be full of hatred and fight for more.
A child, who has been over protected and habitually given whatever he or she wanted, would develop the entitlement mentality and would always put himself first. He would be ignorant of his parent's efforts. When he starts work, he assumes that every person must listen to him, and when he becomes a manager, he would never know the sufferings of his employees and would always blame others. This kind of person, may be good academically and may be successful for a while, but eventually would not feel a sense of achievement. He will grumble and be full of hatred and fight for more.
If we are this kind of protective parents, are we really showing love or are we destroying the kid instead?*
You can let your kid live in a big house, eat good meals, learn piano, watch a big screen TV. But when you are cutting grass, please let him experience it. After a meal, let him wash his plates and bowls together with his brothers and sisters. It is not because you do not have money to hire a maid, but it is because you want to love him in the right way. You want him to understand, no matter how rich his parents are, one day their hair will grow gray, same as the mother of that young man . The most important thing is your kid learns how to appreciate the effort and experience the difficulty and learns the ability to work with others to get things done.
You can let your kid live in a big house, eat good meals, learn piano, watch a big screen TV. But when you are cutting grass, please let him experience it. After a meal, let him wash his plates and bowls together with his brothers and sisters. It is not because you do not have money to hire a maid, but it is because you want to love him in the right way. You want him to understand, no matter how rich his parents are, one day their hair will grow gray, same as the mother of that young man . The most important thing is your kid learns how to appreciate the effort and experience the difficulty and learns the ability to work with others to get things done.
Wednesday, October 27, 2010
What are key factors for my future career?
Conclusion
Based on interviewee as well as analysis and discussion, and reading the prescribed text and recommended readings for this course, the two key factors that will be taken into account in career planning and development for food and beverage industry, the owner of a medium restaurant and a bakery shop and an entrepreneur is motivation driver and values.
Motivation is very important to achieve goals in order to fulfill some need or expectation. Motivation is what an individual can do, will do (given the ability) and allowed to do (Kant, 2009). Motivation also leads to degree to which an individual wants and chooses to commit in certain act. There are a lot of uncertainties in the future, but motivation will drive individual to strive and fight. Like Madam Lim, her motivations drive her despite of her illness, running the restaurant and bakery shop alone. She wanted to see her children graduated from university. In order to do so, she worked hard to earn living and save money for university fees. Finding the right motivation will keep individual stand after so many falls. To be an entrepreneur, motivation will help to cope with unpredictable result; whether the business will be successful or failed.
Motivation is like oil and fire is career. Without oil the fire will die. Simultaneously career can grow with unending motivation.
However finding the right motivation is another issue. Luckily Madam Lim found the right motivation for her. It was not money or social status but family and good education. Hence motivation must be supported by personal values. Values will build personality. The religion, parent, community, and school provide individual with right values. Each individual has to develop it as guidance in doing anything. It becomes integrity of each person. Guy Kawasaki on The Art of Start mentioned that the company should try to make meaning not a lot of money. By making meaning there is chance for the company to make money. Whereas by making money the company can destroy meaning. It is similar to career. The career should make value in contrast to popular believe that career should make a lot of money. If individual don’t have integrity, they will use any means to achieve their goal. In other word they can use illegal way to get what they want. In conclusion motivation with right values and integrity are the requirement to work in 21st century.
Thursday, October 21, 2010
Why am I the Coolest Intern?
Hi, first let me introduce myself to you :)
My name is Wilson Wijaya.
I am a fourth year student from Nanyang Technological University (NTU).
My major is Mechanical Engineering, specialized in Innovative Design.
In addition to that, I have minor in both Business and Entrepreneurship.
My interest is on Social Media. You heard it right, Social Media.
Why am I the world's coolest intern?
Here are the reasons:
1. My world is ONLINE.
You just need to name it:
facebook : http://www.facebook.com/wilson.wijayalee
twitter: http://twitter.com/#!/Wilson_Wijaya
buzz : wilsbear2004@gmail.com
youtube: http://www.youtube.com/user/wilsbear?feature=mhum
blog: http://wilsbear.blogspot.com/
Basically you can find me anywhere. Just Google me for real, Wilson Wijaya.
2. I eat, think, and sleep about SOCIAL MEDIA.
I'm 24/7 online. I'll do everything using social media.
I twit, change facebook status, upload video to youtube, write on my blog, buzz anyone, make event using facebook, and manage facebook fan-page.
You can call me online whore :p
3. I can do anything online.
Starting from twitting to writing blog. I can do anything. Check my facebook notes and blog article that I wrote.
I love to make video and put it on youtube. I'm planning to have my youtube show :D
SOCIAL MEDIA is my life and source of vitality.
It's my WORLD.
On top of all, I'm young and passionate about it. I have full energy about Social Media and I'm really familiar about it. I can engage and communicate well using Social Media to my friends, family, and other people. Where on earth can you find person like me?
Tuesday, October 19, 2010
[Faith] Commitment = Marriage
In this rapid, fast, and dynamic environment, commitment becomes the very first issue in anything. It is applicable to our study life, club/organization, project, assignment, and even service to God. Let’s face this, we are NTU student, busy people, doing a lot of things, and thinking 24 hours a day is far from enough. On top of this, we still need to serve God in our community, let it be core team, executive committee, or church helper. All of these force us to have highly committed attitude so that we can handle it well. Now let us focus only in service to God, core team in our context. Are you an ex-core team? Or are you in core team? I believe we are quite familiar with the words; SPIRITUAL COMMITMENTS. Before I start, let me ask you this question,
“Do you think it is important to have SPIRITUAL COMMITMENTS as core team member?”
“If I’m not in the core team anymore, should I just quit this SPIRITUAL COMMITMENTS?”
These questions may be wandering in your mind, I hope so. If not, then I bring you the questions.
Let’s recall our mind, what are the SPIRITUAL COMMITMENTS?
- Eucharist
- Bible reading and reflection
- Prayer life
- Confession
- Devotion to Mother Mary
It’s simple, sweet, and nicely put. But what is the meaning behind it actually? Can I just skip it? Do I need to do all? May I just do one at a time?
Commitment is equal to marriage. In marriage vow, the husband unites himself to the wife and vice versa. They are no longer two but become one. It’s the same thing when we are baptized. We no longer belong to ourselves but to the Church and HIM personally. We unite ourselves as body of Christ. In this union “take” and “give” action must take place. Same as husband and wife, the husband can’t give all the time and the wife can’t always take from the husband. Christ will always give us His blessing and love; we can take it freely anytime and anywhere. However we also need to give back to God and His people.
Do you think if we don’t do any of five commitments the glory of God will fall? NO. It won’t change anything. God will always be God. That’s why He is God and not like others King. We do those because our longing to Him and our love to Him. Deep inside our heart we are longing to be one with Him, our creator, you and me. All these five are only the path to bring us closer to Him and make Him known to us.
Hence whether we are in core team or not, as long as we are Catholic, the follower of Christ, we should uphold these commitments in daily life.
But nowadays many people didn’t realize that they need these paths. We are too busy and concerned with our earthly stuffs. I don’t say that we can’t do anything else. However we need to set time for these in our super busy and tight schedule. Let me explain why we do need to pursue this in daily life.
1. Eucharist
First and foremost is Eucharist. It’s not just the celebration. Moreover it’s about receiving the real body and blood of Christ in our human body. The real presence of Jesus in appearance of host will be received. When we take part in the communion, God’s love and blessing are poured upon us. We make God’s sanctuary inside our body. Don’t you remember Saint Paul’s word, “You are the temple of the Holy Spirit?” By eating the bread, God transforms our heart to be like Him. He changes us to be more like Him, remember the story in Genesis that God made us with his own image. We are the image of God and to make it even more we need to receive the real image through Eucharist. Father Gerard shared with us that our body had expiry date and it is seven days. Hence we need to be “relived” every week. Eucharist is the source of power, strength, joy, peace, and love. Where on earth can you find celebration which unites heaven and earth and God’s presence is made real?
2. Bible reading and reflection
Having received the body of Christ alone is not enough. There is old saying, “Know someone from his words.” Listening to God’s word make us become closer to Him, the speaker. Remember what Tommy said about listening to God. One way is to listen to God through his bible where the writer recorded His word to us. In Old Testament, Yahweh was speaking to His people, Israel, through the prophets. In New Testament, God was speaking through His son, Jesus. In fact, Jesus himself is words of God that made flesh. See the connection, to understand God, know God, and fall in love, we do need to listen to Him. After this we need to bring it to higher level, proclaiming the words of God. Jesus told his disciples to bring and spread the good news to the end of the world. We, in fact, are responsible to this task. Reflection helps us to relate and make the bible to daily practice. Hence the word is not just on the lips but also put in action. Do you remember the meaning of three crosses we make before the Gospel reading?
3. Prayer life
After listening to Him, we also want to talk back to Him. In every communication, it is a two ways communication that is effective to build relationship with someone. We don’t want just to listen but we also want to speak up. We want to have conversation with Him. How do we do that? The answer is through prayer. Prayer is one way to have conversation with God. It’s free, 24/7, anywhere, and not complicated. You don’t need anything, basically, just a heart and love to him. Even you don’t need a word in your prayer. Don’t you believe me?
4. Confession
Yes, we have good relationship now with God. We receive Him through Eucharist. We listen to him through bible. We have conversation with Him through prayer. Everything looks perfect, complete, and nice. What is lacking? In relationship, sometimes, or maybe most of times, we make mistake that hurt our partner. We don’t intend to do it but it happened. Then we apologize for it and promise that we’ll never do that again in future. Same story happens with our God. What is our mistake? SIN. Sin huts our God. It makes Him upset, sad, and angry, He fells betrayal from His beloved. Because of this we need to say sorry to Him. But it’s not enough, we need to change our life. Hence confession leads us to conversion. Conversion is moving forward to God’s face while leaving the sin behind. Pope John Paul II called for the universal conversion. Pope Benedict XVI called for whole Church conversion. In his homily, Pope Benedict said,“We are not alone in this spiritual itinerary," Pope Benedict clarified, "because the Church accompanies and sustains us from the start with the Word of God, which encloses a program of spiritual life and penitential commitment, and with the grace of the sacraments.”
5. Devotion to Mother Mary
To know a person is through his friends. Friends and families are the one who know us the best. It is the same with our Lord. His friends and families are the one who know Him the best. Mother Mary knows Him very well. After all, she is His mother. Hence the devotion to our mother should bring us closer to our Lord, Jesus Christ. According to Legion of Mary handbook, a true devotion to our Mother will lead us to her son, Jesus Christ. Who are Jesus’ friends then? Saints who have done His will throughout the ages are His best friend. We can know Jesus from them, their life, action, charity, love, and activity. All of them resemble Jesus’ love to them. We need to learn and do it on our own. Pope John Paul II told the youth that everyone can be saint, are called to be saint. Pursue your own holiness.
From the explanation above you can see the connection between each other. We can opt to do one or worse do nothing. It will go in flow and continuously. And it doesn’t matter if you are core team or not, if your new to Catholic or not, if your are male or female, if you are young or old. Everyone is called to follow Jesus steps. That’s why we are called the follower of Christ. Remember the fourth point Archbishop Nicholas Chia told us during the Commissioning Mass, for community to be a good community you must have willingness to learn, fellowship, teaching, and reaching out. It’s not just for the community but for us also as individual. We do need these four factors for our growth. Spiritual commitments are the practical fruit. Do you want to be closer to God or you want to be far away from Him? Be careful of Spirituality Anorexia.
Friday, April 23, 2010
Exam/Relax = Stress
Some of you may be surprised to find the title of the note.
Some of you may find this is ridiculous that I write a note just 24 hours before my first exam.
Well, let me clear the air.
This note is dedicated to all of us (having exam or not) who are facing stress in our life.
I feel pity to some of us who are troubled to control their degree of stress.
It includes me in the list.
I believe most of us know the meaning of stress.
Everyone has their own meaning of stress.
Some of us can take higher degree of stress as normal level,
while the others can't do that.
Hence I will not talk much about the stress itself.
In fact I'll talk more about the before and after effect of it.
During this exam period, I know the "kiasu" level increases exponentially.
And the relaxation/entertainment decreases in same way or more extreme.
(Well for some it isn't effected)
Hence the stress-meter tells us that we are at the level of almost break down.
Furthermore, the force to ourselves to get good grade (GPA) 5 makes it worse.
The combination of these make body as boiling machine that almost explodes due to the pressure.
The simple formula of for stress/pressure:
Pressure = Force / Area
In this case, pressure is our stress, force is our workload, and area is our body, mind, and mental.
As we know our workload is a constant.
Well you can't say that you only want to take one from seven examinations.
In addition the ECA, feeling, and relationship make the force bigger.
The area is a variable but under control.
You can't change it as you wish to a very large amount.
(Well you can't make your brain bigger).
Hence if we substitute the value to our formula we get:
Stress= (Exam+ECA+Feeling+Relation
From this we can derive that:
1. If we don't have exam/ECA/feeling/relations
2. If we have bigger mind/mental/brain/body, our stress will decrease.
Is it possible to achieve the ideal condition? It's not theory calculation. It's experimental.
From my experience and observation, I suggest some of my idea:
1. Reduce the force/workload
Well it doesn't mean you have to take lesser subject (21->19). Yes, you can if you want.
What I suggest that you make your own study strategy. Don't copy others.
Please do you think if you follow A+ student so you'll become like them?
Our brain is a wonderful safety box. It can keep a huge number of memory.
But be careful that the memory is not kept in short term memory.
Make your own schedule/agenda. Plan well.
2. Improve your Body, Mental, and Mind
How to improve? You are the one that can answer it.
You know yourself better than others, don't you?
Exercise, do sport but don't over do it.
Keep positive thinking, if you already said to yourself that you're stupid, useless, and failure,
you'll be what you said. Hypnotize yourself with good and encouraging words.
Yes you can! Fighting! Be positive! I can make it!
Take time to relax and do stuffs that you like; games, facebook, singing, reading, dancing, etc.
It sounds repetitive and classic but it's TRUE.
As I said in my earlier note, BALANCING is the important aspect in life.
When you can balance everything, you life will mostly perfect. (I don't dare to say perfect).
This what we tend to forget. Balance your life well.
So it' doesn't mean that you study like crazy.
And also it doesn't mean that you play like crazy.
Remember BALANCE.
From the art of war, know yourself before the enemy.
Conquer yourself to conquer others.
It's true and applicable from times to times.
What is your strength? What is your weakness?
How does your strength help you in exam?
How does your weakness pull you down in exam?
What can you do to make your weakness be your strength?
Now let's share your experiences and ideas.
How do you handle your stress?
How do we make our life to be balance?
Leave comment as references for others.
Some of you may find this is ridiculous that I write a note just 24 hours before my first exam.
Well, let me clear the air.
This note is dedicated to all of us (having exam or not) who are facing stress in our life.
I feel pity to some of us who are troubled to control their degree of stress.
It includes me in the list.
I believe most of us know the meaning of stress.
Everyone has their own meaning of stress.
Some of us can take higher degree of stress as normal level,
while the others can't do that.
Hence I will not talk much about the stress itself.
In fact I'll talk more about the before and after effect of it.
During this exam period, I know the "kiasu" level increases exponentially.
And the relaxation/entertainment decreases in same way or more extreme.
(Well for some it isn't effected)
Hence the stress-meter tells us that we are at the level of almost break down.
Furthermore, the force to ourselves to get good grade (GPA) 5 makes it worse.
The combination of these make body as boiling machine that almost explodes due to the pressure.
The simple formula of for stress/pressure:
Pressure = Force / Area
In this case, pressure is our stress, force is our workload, and area is our body, mind, and mental.
As we know our workload is a constant.
Well you can't say that you only want to take one from seven examinations.
In addition the ECA, feeling, and relationship make the force bigger.
The area is a variable but under control.
You can't change it as you wish to a very large amount.
(Well you can't make your brain bigger).
Hence if we substitute the value to our formula we get:
Stress= (Exam+ECA+Feeling+Relation
From this we can derive that:
1. If we don't have exam/ECA/feeling/relations
2. If we have bigger mind/mental/brain/body, our stress will decrease.
Is it possible to achieve the ideal condition? It's not theory calculation. It's experimental.
From my experience and observation, I suggest some of my idea:
1. Reduce the force/workload
Well it doesn't mean you have to take lesser subject (21->19). Yes, you can if you want.
What I suggest that you make your own study strategy. Don't copy others.
Please do you think if you follow A+ student so you'll become like them?
Our brain is a wonderful safety box. It can keep a huge number of memory.
But be careful that the memory is not kept in short term memory.
Make your own schedule/agenda. Plan well.
2. Improve your Body, Mental, and Mind
How to improve? You are the one that can answer it.
You know yourself better than others, don't you?
Exercise, do sport but don't over do it.
Keep positive thinking, if you already said to yourself that you're stupid, useless, and failure,
you'll be what you said. Hypnotize yourself with good and encouraging words.
Yes you can! Fighting! Be positive! I can make it!
Take time to relax and do stuffs that you like; games, facebook, singing, reading, dancing, etc.
It sounds repetitive and classic but it's TRUE.
As I said in my earlier note, BALANCING is the important aspect in life.
When you can balance everything, you life will mostly perfect. (I don't dare to say perfect).
This what we tend to forget. Balance your life well.
So it' doesn't mean that you study like crazy.
And also it doesn't mean that you play like crazy.
Remember BALANCE.
From the art of war, know yourself before the enemy.
Conquer yourself to conquer others.
It's true and applicable from times to times.
What is your strength? What is your weakness?
How does your strength help you in exam?
How does your weakness pull you down in exam?
What can you do to make your weakness be your strength?
Now let's share your experiences and ideas.
How do you handle your stress?
How do we make our life to be balance?
Leave comment as references for others.
Tuesday, April 20, 2010
What is my Passion?
Arghhhhhhhh again and again I complain about my life.
Well not really complaining more on the crying about it.
The reason is as simple as I don't know what my passion is.
Well I can ask other what they think about my passion,
but it's not the point of others tell me of what to do.
It'll be useless if it doesn't come from my heart.
When doing something with so much passion,
it doesn't matter about the result.
Let me talk stupid thing with you.
Have you ever realize your passion?
Either study, music, film, public speaking, acting, drama,singing, etc.
When you have the passion, you'll do it happily without hesitation.
Even in the point you'll fail, you still can stand up and redo it with your passion.
We can see how important passion in doing something.
It really helps you a lot.
Now, when you don't have any passion or mood doing something,
do you think you can do it?
Well, maybe yes or no.
Yes you can still do it, but you don't know the result.
If the result goes right, you'll just say it's good enough.
If the result goes wrong, you'll mostly leave it as it is.
No you can't do it.
How do you expect someone doing something he/she doesn't like?
It's impossible to make it, even it's possible, I bet you'll get good result of it.
I believe most of us can see the difference.
In our real life, you can see many people doing something for their passion or not.
Some people chase money, higher social status, fame, good grade etc as their motivation.
Others just do it for their satisfaction in life.
As we reflect to ourselves, what motivates you in doing something?
It is simply a calling of passion in your heart or any other motivation.
When you have enough money, will you feel satisfied?
When you have high social status, will you aim higher?
When you have fame as you wanted, will you die for it?
When you have the highest grade in class, will you feel proud of it?
When you had enough, you'll stop since you don't have other reason of doing it.
The passion sustains human in doing and accomplish many things till now.
The passion of film, drama, and acting make Oscar to be the most prestigious award.
The passion of music, singing, and harmony make Grammy to be the highest achievement award.
The passion of peace, God, and service make religious life to be the most valuable way of life.
The passion of science, truth, and charity make Noble to be the most honorable award.
Everyone is indeed different from each other.
Same passion can drive people differently.
But same passion will make people success in their pursuit of happiness.
So what is your passion in life?
Have you fulfilled your passion?
Well not really complaining more on the crying about it.
The reason is as simple as I don't know what my passion is.
Well I can ask other what they think about my passion,
but it's not the point of others tell me of what to do.
It'll be useless if it doesn't come from my heart.
When doing something with so much passion,
it doesn't matter about the result.
Let me talk stupid thing with you.
Have you ever realize your passion?
Either study, music, film, public speaking, acting, drama,singing, etc.
When you have the passion, you'll do it happily without hesitation.
Even in the point you'll fail, you still can stand up and redo it with your passion.
We can see how important passion in doing something.
It really helps you a lot.
Now, when you don't have any passion or mood doing something,
do you think you can do it?
Well, maybe yes or no.
Yes you can still do it, but you don't know the result.
If the result goes right, you'll just say it's good enough.
If the result goes wrong, you'll mostly leave it as it is.
No you can't do it.
How do you expect someone doing something he/she doesn't like?
It's impossible to make it, even it's possible, I bet you'll get good result of it.
I believe most of us can see the difference.
In our real life, you can see many people doing something for their passion or not.
Some people chase money, higher social status, fame, good grade etc as their motivation.
Others just do it for their satisfaction in life.
As we reflect to ourselves, what motivates you in doing something?
It is simply a calling of passion in your heart or any other motivation.
When you have enough money, will you feel satisfied?
When you have high social status, will you aim higher?
When you have fame as you wanted, will you die for it?
When you have the highest grade in class, will you feel proud of it?
When you had enough, you'll stop since you don't have other reason of doing it.
The passion sustains human in doing and accomplish many things till now.
The passion of film, drama, and acting make Oscar to be the most prestigious award.
The passion of music, singing, and harmony make Grammy to be the highest achievement award.
The passion of peace, God, and service make religious life to be the most valuable way of life.
The passion of science, truth, and charity make Noble to be the most honorable award.
Everyone is indeed different from each other.
Same passion can drive people differently.
But same passion will make people success in their pursuit of happiness.
So what is your passion in life?
Have you fulfilled your passion?
Saturday, April 3, 2010
Nothing is PERFECT
Can you get 100% pure kindness?
Can you get 100% pure love?
Some of you know the answer, NO.
I'm not a typical dreamer who dreams about finding a true love.
That's why all Disney story is very popular.
They sell dream to the children, a dream about perfect world, ideal word.
BUT, too bad, there is no such ideal/perfect world in our real world.
This is not a Disney world where everything ends up happily ever after.
A typical ending for all Disney classic story.
They change everything and fix it to our imagination of world.
A true love, a perfect world, where good conquer bad.
A pure gold can't stand for itself. It's too soft to be used.
That's why when you go to the shop you may be find 99% but not 100%.
A pure love can't stand for itself. It's too fragile, easily break.
That's why when you have it you need to take extra caution about it.
A true kindness can't stand for itself. It's too beautiful to be true.
That's why there is no trust you always wonder a true motive behind something.
Have you wondered why God never created something as perfect?
If you say human is prefect, there will be no dead.
If you say flower is perfect, there will be no fading.
If you say life is perfect, there will be no sadness and trouble.
This will tamper us to be a tough man.
That's true, this imperfectness makes us a strong human.
This will shape us into a strong human being.
If all is perfect, then human is just lazy and usefulness creature.
If all is perfect, we are just a cry baby and never be an adult.
If all is perfect, I will not learn new thing every second I breath.
Because we are imperfect, we can know each other and be social individual.
We help each other to cover our own imperfectness or defect.
Like gold need other to make it strong, we can't stand by ourselves.
But don't depend too much on other people. That's another human mistake.
Since we are not perfect then let other to complete us, fill us.
It's wrong. I don't agree with that statement.
Since I'm not perfect, I need to pursue my perfectness.
Even though I know I'll never be perfect but I always try to be perfect.
Live my life in perfect mode.
Love like perfect love.
Be kind as no reason to do it.
We are just God's creation and result of social evolution.
Yes, it's true BUT it's not reason we can't be perfect.
Perfectness is just mere standard made by ourselves.
How do you know whether you are perfect or not?
You ask other to mark you.
You look through yourself and mark yourself.
You follow society requirement to be perfect.
My friend, live your life to the fullest.
Have no regret when the time comes.
Try everything while you can and never look back.
That's your standard of perfectness.
Thursday, August 27, 2009
How to be a realistic person?
Have you wonder whether you are a realist or not?
Do you think your life full of flowering words or sentences?
Do you wonder why people always gives good answer not realistic one?
Well, to be honest with you I also do same thing.
When talking with others, I always gives flowering words.
"It's OK."
"There will be time for that."
"No, You can do it."
"I'll be good listener."
"You are not alone. I'll be with you."
"That's the friends are for."
You know I'm not the kind of imaginative or romantic person.
I'm a realistic person.
If I can see it that must be true and vice versa.
How come you believe the words when the bad thing happened to you?
How many people give word of encouragement?
Sharing good story with so beautiful meaning, like whatever happen is for your good.
I'm not despise them.
Nor I hate them.
I like it and it's really encouraging.
But sometimes I need real answer not a flowering, beautiful, diplomatic answer.
Yes, it wont help me nor console me.
But you must face reality. You live in real world.
"It's OK."
How come you say that? I'm not OK.
I'm sick. Give other answer. More practical.
What's OK when I'm hurt, feeling alone, crying, sad, got backstabbing?
I'm not belong to this place and you said it's OK.
You see all thing to simple my dear friend.
Life is complicated.
"Make your life simple"
Life is not simple. If it is, I wont be hurt like this.
I wont feel this feeling.
I wont complain about it.
Nothing is simple. Even a single snow has very complicated structure.
"There will be time for that"
OK then. Why the time is not now?
What the difference you give it now and then?
if it's just the same, why wont you give it now?
You said I'm not ready then why you make the desire.
Why you let me know about this?
Why?
"No. You can do it."
Very nice. So you want me do it by myself.
If I can do it I wont say I can't.
It's really heavy. Even I can't bear it.
Then will you help me to do it?
No. You just want me to finish it by myself.
Again it's just the word of encouraging.
You're not in my position.
"I'll be good listener."
One big lie is this word.
Come on, you can stand with it but not your ear.
You are already tired to listen to all my word.
Even you always tell me to shut my mouth.
How come now you said this word?
When I'm talking you say to shut up.
When I keep silent you say to talk and you'll listen.
What a liar are you.
"You are not alone. I'll be with you."
You say this word when you can't be with me for 24 hours.
You're in USA and I'm in Asia or Africa.
You truly just say this word.
After party what is left is the host who need to clean all the mess.
Ask for the others. Maybe they end up having another party at nearby bar.
"That's the friends are for."
What is the purpose of friend?
What are the friends for?
Can you elaborate more.
If you answer like this, it's just 10/100.
I'm not asking you to answer your friend like that.
Nor discourage you to not console other.
I just challenge you to think from their shoes.
When you want to console other, please put yourself on their behalf.
Stating normal and common word will not help a lot.
At the end of the conversation your friend will say:
"Thank you. You really help me."
for the sake of attitude.
Do you think your life full of flowering words or sentences?
Do you wonder why people always gives good answer not realistic one?
Well, to be honest with you I also do same thing.
When talking with others, I always gives flowering words.
"It's OK."
"There will be time for that."
"No, You can do it."
"I'll be good listener."
"You are not alone. I'll be with you."
"That's the friends are for."
You know I'm not the kind of imaginative or romantic person.
I'm a realistic person.
If I can see it that must be true and vice versa.
How come you believe the words when the bad thing happened to you?
How many people give word of encouragement?
Sharing good story with so beautiful meaning, like whatever happen is for your good.
I'm not despise them.
Nor I hate them.
I like it and it's really encouraging.
But sometimes I need real answer not a flowering, beautiful, diplomatic answer.
Yes, it wont help me nor console me.
But you must face reality. You live in real world.
"It's OK."
How come you say that? I'm not OK.
I'm sick. Give other answer. More practical.
What's OK when I'm hurt, feeling alone, crying, sad, got backstabbing?
I'm not belong to this place and you said it's OK.
You see all thing to simple my dear friend.
Life is complicated.
"Make your life simple"
Life is not simple. If it is, I wont be hurt like this.
I wont feel this feeling.
I wont complain about it.
Nothing is simple. Even a single snow has very complicated structure.
"There will be time for that"
OK then. Why the time is not now?
What the difference you give it now and then?
if it's just the same, why wont you give it now?
You said I'm not ready then why you make the desire.
Why you let me know about this?
Why?
"No. You can do it."
Very nice. So you want me do it by myself.
If I can do it I wont say I can't.
It's really heavy. Even I can't bear it.
Then will you help me to do it?
No. You just want me to finish it by myself.
Again it's just the word of encouraging.
You're not in my position.
"I'll be good listener."
One big lie is this word.
Come on, you can stand with it but not your ear.
You are already tired to listen to all my word.
Even you always tell me to shut my mouth.
How come now you said this word?
When I'm talking you say to shut up.
When I keep silent you say to talk and you'll listen.
What a liar are you.
"You are not alone. I'll be with you."
You say this word when you can't be with me for 24 hours.
You're in USA and I'm in Asia or Africa.
You truly just say this word.
After party what is left is the host who need to clean all the mess.
Ask for the others. Maybe they end up having another party at nearby bar.
"That's the friends are for."
What is the purpose of friend?
What are the friends for?
Can you elaborate more.
If you answer like this, it's just 10/100.
I'm not asking you to answer your friend like that.
Nor discourage you to not console other.
I just challenge you to think from their shoes.
When you want to console other, please put yourself on their behalf.
Stating normal and common word will not help a lot.
At the end of the conversation your friend will say:
"Thank you. You really help me."
for the sake of attitude.
Monday, May 11, 2009
Departure to NEW Beginning
While watching Departure (Japanese movie), I make this note; 4.26 am.
I remember I made status note on facebook, stating:
"Nothing is last for forever, treasure every moment you have, cherish every time you get together, hold tight every thing you have NOW."
After watching the movie, it becomes clearer what it means to me.
Every human at one point will pass away and rest from all world things.
We're tired from all the problems, projects, tasks, and maybe life.
We want to sleep at peace and put everything behind.
Often we hear people say that death is beginning of a new journey.
It's not an end but a new starting point.
Like birth, death is also a turning point.
Death and life is like a piece of paper.
Side by side, face to face, both always walk together.
Isn't it funny?
When you die people will take care of you.
Other will decide the coffin, the burial place and ceremony, everything will be prepared for you.
When you die, you will not bring anything.
Just like you came to the world without bringing anything,
you will go back with the same way.
Do they spend hundreds or even thousands for the coffin?
Do they spend hundreds or even thousands for the burial?
Do they spend hundreds or even thousands for the grave?
Can you imagine when somebody leave you forever?
You can't touch, talk, hear, or even look him/her.
Let's say your mother, father, sister, brother, husband, or wife.
Until today, at this moment, I can't imagine I lose my special persons.
Even I know someday they will go and rest in peace.
I still need them all.
How about I leave them first?
Can they face it? Can I accept this fate?
Which one is the easiest choice, be the left one or be the person who leaves?
Can we choose? Do we know the answer?
Do we have any choice?
I think it'll be nice if I can be encoffineer.
I make sure my loved one grant eternal beauty.
I make sure my loved one get eternal rest peacefully.
I make sure my loved one give last memory to me.
Death is life.
Life is death.
When you live, live to the fullest.
Don't hold any regrets.
After you're tired, rest peacefully.
Your new beginning will start very soon after you wake up.
I remember I made status note on facebook, stating:
"Nothing is last for forever, treasure every moment you have, cherish every time you get together, hold tight every thing you have NOW."
After watching the movie, it becomes clearer what it means to me.
Every human at one point will pass away and rest from all world things.
We're tired from all the problems, projects, tasks, and maybe life.
We want to sleep at peace and put everything behind.
Often we hear people say that death is beginning of a new journey.
It's not an end but a new starting point.
Like birth, death is also a turning point.
Death and life is like a piece of paper.
Side by side, face to face, both always walk together.
Isn't it funny?
When you die people will take care of you.
Other will decide the coffin, the burial place and ceremony, everything will be prepared for you.
When you die, you will not bring anything.
Just like you came to the world without bringing anything,
you will go back with the same way.
Do they spend hundreds or even thousands for the coffin?
Do they spend hundreds or even thousands for the burial?
Do they spend hundreds or even thousands for the grave?
Can you imagine when somebody leave you forever?
You can't touch, talk, hear, or even look him/her.
Let's say your mother, father, sister, brother, husband, or wife.
Until today, at this moment, I can't imagine I lose my special persons.
Even I know someday they will go and rest in peace.
I still need them all.
How about I leave them first?
Can they face it? Can I accept this fate?
Which one is the easiest choice, be the left one or be the person who leaves?
Can we choose? Do we know the answer?
Do we have any choice?
I think it'll be nice if I can be encoffineer.
I make sure my loved one grant eternal beauty.
I make sure my loved one get eternal rest peacefully.
I make sure my loved one give last memory to me.
Death is life.
Life is death.
When you live, live to the fullest.
Don't hold any regrets.
After you're tired, rest peacefully.
Your new beginning will start very soon after you wake up.
The Process/The Outcome
I thought this matter for very long time now.
I asked my friends, seniors, and fellow teachers.
They had different views about this matter.
Suddenly, today, this evening, after celebrating my friends' birthday
this topic came out in our conversation.
Sorry to my friend for making him angry talking about this.
I didn't mean that.
But, it's interesting to talk about this matter.
And also I want to know your opinion about this matter:
"What is more important the process or the outcome?"
You can talk about your mark/grade/title/degree or whatever.
OK to help you, let's just focus on our grade/mark, especially for NTU's student.
We know that in our graduation we will get honour, whether 1st class, 2nd upper, 2nd lower, 3rd class, or pass with merit.
Do you think this is more important than your four years study in university?
What do you look, good honour or good process?
In my honest opinion, I do agree that process is above the mark, although mark is also important.
Having good process will and will not result in good mark.
However it ensures that we had good knowledge and information about the subject.
Mark is not the first and only measurement to decide the understanding of the student.
Especially your mark is mostly affected by 2,5 hours paper at examination hall.
There could be a lot of things happen during the exam that make the student not perform well.
For example, having stomachache will disturb your concentration.
Or you are so nervous so you forget how to solve the problem, make stupid mistake due to not be careful in answering the question.
The student also have feeling of burden because the exam will surely make you grade.
Is it fair to judge the student only in the 2,5 hours?
How about their process during the one semester?
Don't they have other chance?
Just because they fail in the exam, their grade will certainly go down.
But, we can't blind about the mark/grade.
It's also important.
That's our first impression to the company so that they call us for interview.
My friend told me before what the mark/grade meant for company or interviewer.
The manager of a finance company told him that mark/grade expressed your seriousness in study.
Having good mark/grade means you are very serious in study and will be also the same in working.
But I argued that how come he told from the mark/grade.
I know for sure (well from my experience) that sometimes even though I have put much effort on one subject, at the end I just got "enough" mark.
What is the standard of the "seriousness"? Is it A+, A, or A-?
How about the other grade, B, B+, B-?
Don't they who didn't get A put less effort than them who got A?
Unfortunately the company see the mark/grade first before your personality.
Well at least to get interview, you need to get at least 2nd lower.
That's the reality of workplace.
That's the fact about the world now.
To get in first you must have good mark/grade because with that they believe you have good knowledge and ability for the company.
Good mark/grade means you are cleverer than others. In this competition era you need to differentiate and good mark/grade is how you differ from others.
After that your interview will decide everything.
You need to show all your ability and persuade the interviewer that you're capable for the job.
So is your mark or your process more important?
Well it's up to you to decide.
I want to know your opinion.
In life truly marks are not important.
It's your skills and abilities which will make you be a successful person.
But in order to get in you must make the first good impression with good mark/grade.
Having good process will or will not lead you to good outcome.
But learning and knowing how to make the good outcome surely add your skill.
Is the experience the good teacher, isn't it?
What will we follow, the ideal world or the real world?
I know for sure we live in the real world which sometimes doesn't follow the ideal one.
Now it's time for you to speak up.
I asked my friends, seniors, and fellow teachers.
They had different views about this matter.
Suddenly, today, this evening, after celebrating my friends' birthday
this topic came out in our conversation.
Sorry to my friend for making him angry talking about this.
I didn't mean that.
But, it's interesting to talk about this matter.
And also I want to know your opinion about this matter:
"What is more important the process or the outcome?"
You can talk about your mark/grade/title/degree or whatever.
OK to help you, let's just focus on our grade/mark, especially for NTU's student.
We know that in our graduation we will get honour, whether 1st class, 2nd upper, 2nd lower, 3rd class, or pass with merit.
Do you think this is more important than your four years study in university?
What do you look, good honour or good process?
In my honest opinion, I do agree that process is above the mark, although mark is also important.
Having good process will and will not result in good mark.
However it ensures that we had good knowledge and information about the subject.
Mark is not the first and only measurement to decide the understanding of the student.
Especially your mark is mostly affected by 2,5 hours paper at examination hall.
There could be a lot of things happen during the exam that make the student not perform well.
For example, having stomachache will disturb your concentration.
Or you are so nervous so you forget how to solve the problem, make stupid mistake due to not be careful in answering the question.
The student also have feeling of burden because the exam will surely make you grade.
Is it fair to judge the student only in the 2,5 hours?
How about their process during the one semester?
Don't they have other chance?
Just because they fail in the exam, their grade will certainly go down.
But, we can't blind about the mark/grade.
It's also important.
That's our first impression to the company so that they call us for interview.
My friend told me before what the mark/grade meant for company or interviewer.
The manager of a finance company told him that mark/grade expressed your seriousness in study.
Having good mark/grade means you are very serious in study and will be also the same in working.
But I argued that how come he told from the mark/grade.
I know for sure (well from my experience) that sometimes even though I have put much effort on one subject, at the end I just got "enough" mark.
What is the standard of the "seriousness"? Is it A+, A, or A-?
How about the other grade, B, B+, B-?
Don't they who didn't get A put less effort than them who got A?
Unfortunately the company see the mark/grade first before your personality.
Well at least to get interview, you need to get at least 2nd lower.
That's the reality of workplace.
That's the fact about the world now.
To get in first you must have good mark/grade because with that they believe you have good knowledge and ability for the company.
Good mark/grade means you are cleverer than others. In this competition era you need to differentiate and good mark/grade is how you differ from others.
After that your interview will decide everything.
You need to show all your ability and persuade the interviewer that you're capable for the job.
So is your mark or your process more important?
Well it's up to you to decide.
I want to know your opinion.
In life truly marks are not important.
It's your skills and abilities which will make you be a successful person.
But in order to get in you must make the first good impression with good mark/grade.
Having good process will or will not lead you to good outcome.
But learning and knowing how to make the good outcome surely add your skill.
Is the experience the good teacher, isn't it?
What will we follow, the ideal world or the real world?
I know for sure we live in the real world which sometimes doesn't follow the ideal one.
Now it's time for you to speak up.
Emansipasi, Wanita=Pria?
"Ibu kita Kartini, putri sejati
putri Indonesia, harum namanya
Ibu kita Kartini, pendekar bangsa
pendekar kaumnya untuk merdeka
Wahai ibu kita Kartini
putri yang mulia
sungguh besar cita-citanya
bagi Indonesia"
Setiap tanggal 21 April, bangsa Indonesia merayakan Hari Kartini.
Hari kartini memperingati kelahiran Raden Ayu Kartini, salah satu "wonder women" Indonesia.
Kontribusinya sangat besr bagi kemajuan penyetaraan gender.
Siapa yang tidak kenal Beliau.
Masih ingat dulu waktu SD, tanggal 21 April diadakan upacara bendera.
Setiap siswa diminta untuk memakai baju daerah dan foto Kartini dipampang di tengah lapangan.
Lomba-lomba dan pagelaran seni juga ikut memeriahkan hari jadi Beliau.
Terus-menerus diingatkan bahwa Kartini adalah pencetus emansipasi wanita di Indonesia.
Wanita kedudukanya sama dengan pria. Mereka setara dengan kita, kaum pria.
Dari tahun 1879 (tahun kelahiran Kartini) sampai 2009 banyak perubahan terjadi di Indonesia.
Kaum wanita juga mulai unjuk gigi di ranah umum.
Prestasi yang membanggakan mungkin adalah ketika Ibu Megawati menjadi presiden wanita pertama.
Walau sebelumnya dia diganjal dan tidak dibolehkan menjadi presiden karena masalah gender.
Apakah ini menandakan Indonesia sudah benar-benar terbuka bagi kaum wanita?
Apakah kedudukan mereka sudah setara dengan kaum laki-laki?
Apakah wanita sama dengan laki-laki?
Opini pribadi saya, Indonesia masih belajar menghargai wanita.
Memang benar sudah banyak kaum wanita yang "go public", tetapi banyak juga kaum wanita yang masih ditekan oleh kaum adam.
Ambil contoh TKI, PSK, pembantu rumah tangga.
Masih banyak TKI kita yang mungkin akan mendapat kemalangan di negri orang ditipu oleh orang sendiri.
Jauh menjadi TKI, mereka malah dijual menjadi penghibur dan pemuas nafsu laki-laki.
Dengan iming-iming gaji besar, mereka dibawa ke kota besar dari desa untuk dididik oleh "mami".
Miris melihat wanita bercita-cita untuk sekolah tinggi, tetapi harus putus sekolah karena masalah ekonomi dan gender.
Masih banyak generasi lama yang menganut laki-laki harus maju lebih dahulu dari perempuan.
Saya teringat pernyataan Ibu Megawati ketika berjumpa dengan ibu-ibu di sebuah pasar di Jawa:
"Mana yang dipilih untuk disekolahkan, anak laki-laki yang biasa-biasa saja atau anak perempuan yang lebih pintar? Tentu saja anak laki-laki toh?"
Sekali lagi, masalah ekonomi menjadi penghalang bagi emansipasi
Sama seperti kaum Tionghoa, anak laki-laki adalah putra mahkota di keluarga.
Mengapa tidak, mereka yang akan meneruskan nama keluarga.
Ketika menikah wanita diwajibkan untuk mengikuti nama keluarga suami.
Hal yang wajar bagi masyarakat dengan sistem patrealisme.
Jadi, lebih untung menginvestasikan dana ke anak laki-laki daripada perempuan.
Toh akhirnya anak perempuan akan diambil oelh keluarga orang.
Masyarakat tidak mungkin berubah pandangan dalam waktu semalam.
Semua ini membutuhkan proses yang panjang dan pasti akan menghadapai kendala.
Tidak hanya di Indonesia, di negara lain pun penyetaraan gender masih menjadi masalah.
Tetapi, adanya usaha dan perjuangan tanpa henti untuk mengusahakan penyetaraan gender sudah baik.
Perlunya penekanan akan kesadaran pria dan wanita kedudukannya sama dan diciptakan untuk saling melengkapi bukan saling menjajah atau menguasai.
Jadi, tidak benar bila pria menjajah perempuan.
Lebih tidak benar lagi wanita menjajah pria.
Istilah suami takut istri dan istri takut suamin seharusnya tidak ada di kamus kita.
Perlu diingatkan wanita tidak sama dan tidak akan pernah sama dengan pria.
Adanya rasa saling mengerti dan menghormati adalah mutlak dalam hubungan pria dan wanita.
Memang benar sekarang wanita bisa melakukan pekerjaan pria dan sebaliknya, tetapi fungsi utama dan pertama setiap gender tidak akan bisa digantikan.
Wanita tidak akan pernah bisa menhasilkan sperma untuk membuahi ovum.
Laki-laki tidak akan pernah bisa melahairkan tanpa ovarium dan kelenjar susu.
Wanita diciptkan dari tulang rusuk laki-laki,
bukan dari tulang tengkorak untuk memerintah laki-laki
bukan dari tulang kaki untuk menjadi budak laki-laki.
Wanita diciptakan sejajar dengan pria agar kita saling menhormati dan menghargai serta melengkapi satu sama lain.
Happy Katini's Day 2009
putri Indonesia, harum namanya
Ibu kita Kartini, pendekar bangsa
pendekar kaumnya untuk merdeka
Wahai ibu kita Kartini
putri yang mulia
sungguh besar cita-citanya
bagi Indonesia"
Setiap tanggal 21 April, bangsa Indonesia merayakan Hari Kartini.
Hari kartini memperingati kelahiran Raden Ayu Kartini, salah satu "wonder women" Indonesia.
Kontribusinya sangat besr bagi kemajuan penyetaraan gender.
Siapa yang tidak kenal Beliau.
Masih ingat dulu waktu SD, tanggal 21 April diadakan upacara bendera.
Setiap siswa diminta untuk memakai baju daerah dan foto Kartini dipampang di tengah lapangan.
Lomba-lomba dan pagelaran seni juga ikut memeriahkan hari jadi Beliau.
Terus-menerus diingatkan bahwa Kartini adalah pencetus emansipasi wanita di Indonesia.
Wanita kedudukanya sama dengan pria. Mereka setara dengan kita, kaum pria.
Dari tahun 1879 (tahun kelahiran Kartini) sampai 2009 banyak perubahan terjadi di Indonesia.
Kaum wanita juga mulai unjuk gigi di ranah umum.
Prestasi yang membanggakan mungkin adalah ketika Ibu Megawati menjadi presiden wanita pertama.
Walau sebelumnya dia diganjal dan tidak dibolehkan menjadi presiden karena masalah gender.
Apakah ini menandakan Indonesia sudah benar-benar terbuka bagi kaum wanita?
Apakah kedudukan mereka sudah setara dengan kaum laki-laki?
Apakah wanita sama dengan laki-laki?
Opini pribadi saya, Indonesia masih belajar menghargai wanita.
Memang benar sudah banyak kaum wanita yang "go public", tetapi banyak juga kaum wanita yang masih ditekan oleh kaum adam.
Ambil contoh TKI, PSK, pembantu rumah tangga.
Masih banyak TKI kita yang mungkin akan mendapat kemalangan di negri orang ditipu oleh orang sendiri.
Jauh menjadi TKI, mereka malah dijual menjadi penghibur dan pemuas nafsu laki-laki.
Dengan iming-iming gaji besar, mereka dibawa ke kota besar dari desa untuk dididik oleh "mami".
Miris melihat wanita bercita-cita untuk sekolah tinggi, tetapi harus putus sekolah karena masalah ekonomi dan gender.
Masih banyak generasi lama yang menganut laki-laki harus maju lebih dahulu dari perempuan.
Saya teringat pernyataan Ibu Megawati ketika berjumpa dengan ibu-ibu di sebuah pasar di Jawa:
"Mana yang dipilih untuk disekolahkan, anak laki-laki yang biasa-biasa saja atau anak perempuan yang lebih pintar? Tentu saja anak laki-laki toh?"
Sekali lagi, masalah ekonomi menjadi penghalang bagi emansipasi
Sama seperti kaum Tionghoa, anak laki-laki adalah putra mahkota di keluarga.
Mengapa tidak, mereka yang akan meneruskan nama keluarga.
Ketika menikah wanita diwajibkan untuk mengikuti nama keluarga suami.
Hal yang wajar bagi masyarakat dengan sistem patrealisme.
Jadi, lebih untung menginvestasikan dana ke anak laki-laki daripada perempuan.
Toh akhirnya anak perempuan akan diambil oelh keluarga orang.
Masyarakat tidak mungkin berubah pandangan dalam waktu semalam.
Semua ini membutuhkan proses yang panjang dan pasti akan menghadapai kendala.
Tidak hanya di Indonesia, di negara lain pun penyetaraan gender masih menjadi masalah.
Tetapi, adanya usaha dan perjuangan tanpa henti untuk mengusahakan penyetaraan gender sudah baik.
Perlunya penekanan akan kesadaran pria dan wanita kedudukannya sama dan diciptakan untuk saling melengkapi bukan saling menjajah atau menguasai.
Jadi, tidak benar bila pria menjajah perempuan.
Lebih tidak benar lagi wanita menjajah pria.
Istilah suami takut istri dan istri takut suamin seharusnya tidak ada di kamus kita.
Perlu diingatkan wanita tidak sama dan tidak akan pernah sama dengan pria.
Adanya rasa saling mengerti dan menghormati adalah mutlak dalam hubungan pria dan wanita.
Memang benar sekarang wanita bisa melakukan pekerjaan pria dan sebaliknya, tetapi fungsi utama dan pertama setiap gender tidak akan bisa digantikan.
Wanita tidak akan pernah bisa menhasilkan sperma untuk membuahi ovum.
Laki-laki tidak akan pernah bisa melahairkan tanpa ovarium dan kelenjar susu.
Wanita diciptkan dari tulang rusuk laki-laki,
bukan dari tulang tengkorak untuk memerintah laki-laki
bukan dari tulang kaki untuk menjadi budak laki-laki.
Wanita diciptakan sejajar dengan pria agar kita saling menhormati dan menghargai serta melengkapi satu sama lain.
Happy Katini's Day 2009
What's wrong with Susan Boyle?
Susan Boyle, 47 years old woman from British Got Talent. She is not really pretty lady. She is far away from entertainer's look like we often see on television. She is not really sexually attractive. She said she hasn't been kissed and lived with her cat in her house. But she has something that sometimes people forgot to see: DREAM.
I believe all of you know about her, at least heard about her. The phenomenal audition in British Got talent has struck everyone who watched it. More than 25 million viewers and still can grow more watch the audition on youtube. It's funny, isn't it.
What does make her so different?
What does make her so different?
I watched the audition for more than 20 times now. I looked for comment video from yotube; NBC, CNN, and other news program. There is a interesting comment made by the anchor:
"If Susan is pretty, sexy lady, will she become famous like this? It's just because she is not beautiful. It makes her interesting."
"If Susan is pretty, sexy lady, will she become famous like this? It's just because she is not beautiful. It makes her interesting."
Well, I can say I agree and disagree with that.
Yes, it becomes interesting since she is not pretty.
But, she is truly beautiful.
She is full of confidence, brave, and never stopping to dream.
She chosen a right song for her audition "I dreamed a dream-Les Miserables"
Susan Boyle's audition
Like the Amanda, one of the judges of BGT, said:
"I'm so thrilled because I knew everybody was against you.
I honestly think that we were all being cynical and IT'S THE BIGGEST WAKE UP CALL EVER, and I just want to say that it's a complete privilege to listening to that."
Yup, that's what Susan brought to us. A wake up call. Never judge a book from its cover. From simple, humble, and unattractive woman, come out beautiful voice like an angel. We tend to think ugly people, the less attractive ones, is not important. They make our world become ugly, not beautiful.
They are like eyesore and need to be disposed or be covered.
What make Susan become superstar is not 100% her voice.
I agree she has beautiful voice, but other people also have it.
What she has that make her different is DREAM.
She dreamed for 47 years to sing in front of many people.
She dreamed for 47 years to become professional singer.
She dreamed for 47 years to rock her audience.
And this what sometimes other programs forgot to bring to surface. Not only family background, social background, appearance, but also about hope and dream. Idol program is here to make dream of person like Susan to become reality. We have a lot of entertainer with good look, sexy body, nice voice,and young age. But we do need person like Susan who teaches us never stop dreaming.
Someday your dream will come true and you need to believe it.
Even though people look down on you.
Even though people mock you in public.
Even though people laugh at you.
Even though people say it can't happen.
Even though people don't support you.
Just believe in yourself.
Even though people mock you in public.
Even though people laugh at you.
Even though people say it can't happen.
Even though people don't support you.
Just believe in yourself.
Show the world you have talent.
Roar to the world your voice.
Shout to the world your dream.
Tell the world your talent and dream.
That's what Susan has taught us and me.
"I dreamed a dream in time gone by
When hope was high,
And life worth living
I dreamed that love would never die
I dreamed that God would be forgiving."
Let Go and Accept Back
Listening to Westlife's old songs, I make this note. 9.27pm.
Today and yesterday I screwed the time and my life.
Just doing nothing, sleeping, watching, laughing, listening to music.
Well, at least I did quite a lot different things in two days.
Not that bad.
But wait a minute, where is studying for exam?
Do I forget to mention it?
The answer is NO.
I didn't study for two days after having my last paper.
Well, my next exam is Monday and I have SU-ed it. It explained everything.
But I must study tomorrow for the subject, ADM330 (Contemporary Art South-East Asian).
Today I learned a lot from many things.
I want to share it to all of you who read my note.
First, after I read my friend's note about "Let Go", I realize something.
It's hard to let go, but we can do it even with tear in our eyes.
Somehow when I listened to Westlife on youtube, I remembered about Brian McFadden.
He is the former member of Westlife from 1998-2004 then he decided to focus on solo and his family.
I couldn't imagine how other members let him go from the band.
After almost six years together, having fun together, he had to leave the group.
I won't talk about his decision whether good or bad, but more on the letting go.
I watched the press conference on youtube, it was very emotional.
As I said before, it's hard to let go but we can let go.
Like friends, mark, exam, goods, even family, we need to learn to let them go.
Whether they go from our life or we leave them behind.
Life is not that simple and easy. Easy to say but hard to do.
My friend's note about this has struck me on my face.
But my question now, after I let them go why can I accept them back?
Feeling of betrayal, sad, left alone, hatred make us not be able to accept them back.
Even for family, we can accept them.
After leaving, looking down, and mocking it's hard to see them as before.
This world is so funny, why on the earth you come back to me after I let you go.
You don't feel happy with him/her and want to back in my arm.
After so much pains, tears, and shouts to ask you back nor you're yearning to come back.
Can't we accept them?
Aren't they worthy at all in our eyes?
Just because some mistakes, we cut all relationship.
Just because some arguments, we don't want to see his/her face.
Just because some misunderstandings, we blame everything to him/her.
Just because some problems, we close our eyes and our heart.
Love is painless.
Love is blind.
If you love him/her, not also you will let go but also you will accept them back.
It's hard, isn't it? It's just unconditional situation. It's a only for perfect world.
NO. It's real. It's true. It's for our normal world.
How about do we learn to not only letting go but also accepting back?
It's not only for person but also goods.
When we can do it, how beautiful things could be.
As perfect example Jesus has shown us to let go but more importantly to accept back.
Four Boyfriends in Our Life
She loved the fourth boyfriend the most and adorned him with rich robes and treated him to the finest of delicacies. She gave him nothing but the best.
She also loved the third boyfriend very much and was always showing him off to neighboring kingdoms. However, she feared that one day he would leave her for another.
She also loved her second boyfriend. He was her confident and was always kind, considerate and patient with her. Whenever this girl faced a problem, she could confide in him, and he would help her get through the difficult times.
The girl's first boyfriend was a very loyal partner and had made great contributions in maintaining her wealth and kingdom. However, she did not love the first boyfriend. Although he loved her deeply, she hardly took notice of him!
The sad girl then asked the third boyfriend, 'I loved you all my life. Now that I'm dying, will you follow me and keep me company?' 'No!', replied the third boyfriend. 'Life is too good! When you die, I'm going to marry someone else!' Her heart sank and turned cold.
She then asked the second boyfriend, 'I have always turned to you for help and you've always been there for me. When I die, will you follow me and keep me company?' 'I'm sorry, I can't help you out this time!', replied the second boyfriend.. 'At the very most, I can only walk with you to your grave.' His answer struck her like a bolt of lightning, and the girl was devastated.
Then a voice called out: 'I'll go with you. I'll follow you no matter where you go.' The girl looked up, and there was her first boyfriend. He was very skinny as he suffered from malnutrition and neglect.
Greatly grieved, the girl said, 'I should have taken much better care of you when I had the chance!'
In truth, you have four boyfriends in your lives:
Your fourth boyfriend is your body. No matter how much time and effort you lavish in making it look good, it will leave you when you die. Your third boyfriend is your possessions, status and wealth. When you die, it will all go to others. Your second boyfriend is your family and friends. No matter how much they have been there for you, the furthest they can stay by you is up to the grave.
And your first boyfriend is your spirit. Often neglected in pursuit of wealth, power and pleasures of the world. However, your spirit is the only thing that will follow you where ever you go. Cultivate, strengthen and cherish it now, for it is the only part of you that will follow you to the throne of God and continue with you throughout Eternity.Thought for the day:
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