Question about LIFE: Have you???

Purpose of Life

If you follow my twitter account then you will know what I'm talking about.

Well for those who have no idea what I'm talking about well let me quote my twitter:

Question about life:1. Have you found joy in your life? 2. Have you brought joy to other people life? 3. Have you made meaning of your life?

~Wilson Wijaya, Lee/30 June 2012~

This tweet later  gained comment from one of my best friend:

Friend: Not at all. Any solution for this?

Me: I'm also on the way to find the answer. Everyone will surely have different answer. Depend on your own standard.

Then you will ask me, how the hell I get to ask these questions?

\This morning, 3AM to be exact, I watched The Bucket List on TV. The movie was really good and keep me reflecting on myself how far I have went. What will be on my bucket list to achieve before I "kick the bucket"? Where is the end of it and when will the end come?

There was conversation on movie on Greek paradise, to be able to pass the gate you have to answer the questions. Then what will be you answer, have you thought about it before? It's funny to know that most of the time we life our life as it is.

Well people say let it flow like river stream till it find the final end.

However to live my life to fullest I need to know what the purpose of my life. Sure enough I believe all of you also looking for the most final answer. What is the purpose of your life?

I think through this question we can narrow down our meditation about purpose life.

1. To find joy in our life.

2. To share the joy with others.

Hence we can make a meaningful life in our road to final end.

Either you believe in  God or not, heaven or hell, karma, etc the life is too good to be wasted. We only have one life; unless you believe in reincarnation. Though you believe that you will be born again, you will not repeat the same life. Each life is unique and different according to you.

I'm not a spiritual leader nor a wise old man. I don't really like to have a deep thought and meditation. However it struck me to think about my life. The thinking is so deep yet so engaging to keep me go deeper. In religion they tell you that purpose of life is to be together with your creator, to be free from all misery, and to find final rest and peace.

Knowing that it doesn't make my life can go in waste and doing nothing.

Living my life to fullest give more meaning by making a way to make a value of my life.

I won't teach you how to live you life, it's your choice to make.

But I would like to engage you in reflection and thinking how you want to fill your life.

If you choose to make a meaning in life, please do so.

If you do otherwise, I will not against it as long as you don't disturb others.

Answering the Question

Back to my friend comment, any solution to answer the question. No, I have no solution till now, you can follow Buddha, Jesus, Muhammad, or any other religious figure on earth. Else you can make your own spiritual guide on answering the question. I think the best answer is YOU, yes it depends on how YOU see and live it. I will try to help you answering the question through reflecting question. Let me break the explanation to each question:

1. Have you found joy in your life?

Before answering this question, please answer the following question in your heart. Give a thought. What is joy in your life? Having a lot of money? Having a big house? Having a big name and famous? So far what have you done to make it happen in your life? Education? Religion? Work? What defines the joy in your life? What values that effect you? Religion? Philosophy? Social norm?

Joy is a joy as long as it fill your heat. For me a joy is when a mother gives birth with love to her child. Joy is when a father dies to protect his child. Joy is when a child can live a happy life with their parent.

I may not be rich to found joy, may be my poor situation make me find joy and value in money.

I may not be clever to found joy, completing degree with my best effort is a joy for me.

I may not be religious to found joy, having a simple prayer in my room is joy of life.

As you can see the situation and condition limit the meaning of joy.

They define and make meaning of joy itself and back to YOU.

Hence the answer I suggest is WHAT DO YOU THINK?

2. Have you brought joy to other people life?

Well this is an arrogance question. I could say I have big impact for thousands or billions lives. If you see it like that, Jesus or Buddha or Muhammad have brought joys to their follower. Then until we can be like them, we have not brought any joy to other people. WRONG, I don't think so. Even just one people means that I have brought joy to him/her. Have you treated your spouse well? Have you loved them as yourself?

A teacher gives joy to student trough teaching. A mother gives joy to her child through love and care. A man gives joy to a woman though sharing of love and life. A simple smile can bring thousand joy to some people but at the same time can bring sadness. Everything has two side of coin in it, bad and good. Again it backs to situation and condition how it will turn out.

Money can bring joy to a family but at the same time can be a disaster. Love can bring joy to people but at the same time can hurt them deeply. To bring joy to people for me means to know what to offer to them. Simple conversation can be a joy. Your presence can be be a joy. A kiss can be a joy. Hence the answer I suggest is WHAT HAVE YOU DONE?

3. Have you made a meaning of your life?

If wasting your life is what you chose, then you have made meaning of it. If developing your talents made you happy, then you have made it. If having family is your sole purpose, then you have got it. A value comes from the owner how he/she values the value. If you see my past entry on Words about Working Bryan Dyson said:

Value has value only if its value is valued.

I think this the answer of this question. A meaning has a purpose and mean only if you give the meaning to it. Hence the answer I suggest is WHAT MEANING YOU GIVE MEANING TO IT?

Conclusion

A life is only life until you give meaning to it.

Whether you will succeed in your life or you will fail it, the decision is yours.

The question can be a guide to you to pass though the road of life.

You can make it as a mere question that pass you one day.

Or you can make it as obsession to fulfill your desire.

Else you can make it as guide and reference to move on.

I aint a teacher nor a philosopher, just a normal student of knowledge and wisdom.

However don't get blinded by the question till you forget what is truly important.

Stay still, stop, think, and reflect is good as long as you decide the next step.

If you stop at some point and  not moving on, I wish that is the point when you have found the answer.

If not then i suggest you to keep moving forward with new perspective.

Life is a choice whatever you chose please be responsible about it.

~Wilson Wijaya, Lee/30 June 2012~

Who is She? My Mother

Brief Career History

 The author interviewed Madam Lim, a single mother in her late 50. Her husband just passed away on May 2010. She runs a medium restaurant selling variance of food and a small bakery shop. She has four children, three daughters and one son. The oldest daughter is a dentist, currently working at family clinic. The second daughter is a medical student, currently serving as intern. The son is a university student, currently studying in the last year. The youngest daughter is an accountancy student, currently studying in second year.

Madam Lim is a Chinese descendant. She can speak Mandarin and some dialects. She was in food and beverage industry for almost 21 years. She started by helping her husband in running the business since her husband is illiterate. She, herself, was not degree holder. She only finished her Junior College. Due to her family financial background, she couldn’t pursue university degree. She started to work since young to help her poor family. She has nine siblings.

Madam Lim is brilliant and smart even though she couldn’t enjoy university life. She has sharp thinking, excellent communication skills, and good management skills. She picked those skills by herself through the experiences she has undergone. Madam Lim managed to expand her husband business from a small restaurant to a medium restaurant with strong customers’ loyalty. The restaurant is well known for their fast serving and delicious food. She also managed to open a small bakery shop, catered to birthday and wedding cake, along with the restaurant. On top of that she successfully entered her four children to university. Even some people didn’t believe that she could do that.

 She is also an entrepreneur. On May 2010, her husband passed away due to sudden heart attack. Then she has to manage the restaurant and the bakery shop alone. She struggled with the family economy to sustain her three children education cost. Due to the economy recession, the business didn’t go well. Luckily she got opportunity to open family dental clinic together with other relatives. She also joined her friends in other business projects. She is a good risk analyst, excellent predictor, and deep thinker.

The fairy tale is too good to be true. In fact she was diagnosed with diabetes type II, a genetic illness (Amy Adams, 2000). In spite of her illness she continued to fight and pursue her dream. She wanted to see all her children to be successful in the future by having university degree. She continued running the restaurant and bakery shop; and looking after other business. She is a strong-willed person.

NETWORKING, is that so IMPORTANT???

NETWORKING

Nowadays people often talk about how important networking is.

To be a successful person networking is indeed very helpful.
In Indonesia, sometimes people can get easy way thought so called "networking".
Well I would like to talk about it in my entry today.

Why would I talk about it now?
Honestly my sister went for some AIESEC program to Hanoi, Vietnam.
There   she met with a lot of people from different country; namely South Korea, Taiwan, China, South Africa, USA, and Vietnam itself.
My suggestion to her:

Meet new people, talk with them, interact and learn from them. Make your network as wide as possible.

This is her chance to make friends with people from different background and nationality.
Well she attended university in my home country Indonesia and there is limitation to make international friend.
I can call myself lucky to get accepted at Nanyang Technological University, Singapore.
As we know Singapore becomes a global hub both education  and business purposes.
Hence I had the bigger chance to make friend with people from many Asia's country and beyond.

Before I had no imagination that I could meet people from Europe/USA.
Even thinking to have friends from  middle and eastern part of Indonesia never cross my mind.
I have no tools and barely know no one.
The friends that I had limited to my school friend only.
And even that I didn't try to make a lot of friends from high school.
Well you can ask my high school friend, how many of them know me personally.

It's not that I didn't want to make friends at the first place.
I'm an easy going person and people person, ask my friend to confirm this ;)
I thought as long as I could move on by myself I need no one.

But times prove me wrong.
I learn the power of networking through courses, experience, and  sharing.
Though I took Engineering course, I loved to join Business course.
There I learned how important networking is.
When people gather, talk about their idea, sharing their thought, it can stimulate ourselves.
Networking is like making spider web, connecting from one point to another.
It combines two people or more with same ideas or like minded.
Networking is not just about chit chat, it's how we share with other our opinion.
Knowing people from the way they talk, present themselves, and engage in conversation.
We learn about the attitude of being social person.
Experience is the best teacher.

As student, we join different kind of group. It's a way for us to learn about networking.
There are a lot of so called "professional" club to help us learn the real word works.
Let's just say AIESEC, Toastmasters, Lion, etc. You name it.
Since I joined Toastmasters, I will talk about it to share it with others.
It is a club to train both leader and master of public speaking.
They train us how to be a good presenter yet with a good impression.
It helps us to know how to think on the spot, same like we are having conversation.
We need to think fast but we can't show it to the next person.
We need to keep the conversation engaging and exciting to keep it forward.
But at the same time we have to focus not to get out from the track.
It is the best way to learn by doing.

Third, we can learn from others' sharing.
Like now I share my experience and I hope you can get something out of it.
This is the point of networking, sharing; ideas, opinions, critics,  suggestions.
Take from others that you think good for your improvement.
And at the same time, give advise for others' improvement.
We learn and grow together as human being.
Don't forget to take note the important point.
And apply what you have learned and heard in the next battle.
This is how we learn.

To end this entry, I would like to give you my pointer on networking from my experiences.
Please feel free to add on in the comment section below.
As I said we learn, grow, and share together.

Let's go with the pointer:

1. Focus on the goal and don't lose track. Know why you go there for networking, either knowing new people or getting some new ideas for example.
2. Talk to people and don't be shy. You are there to meet, talk, and share with others not just enjoying the food (if any) or being alone. Make sire you are prepared on what you want (Look 1).
3. LISTEN. Well as much as you want to talk, you have to listen to others. It's not just about you but also your partner. You can learn and get something from listening to others. Don't get intimidated.
4. Keep the contact. People tend to forget to keep contact at the end of the conversation. Exchanging name card, phone number, email, or even adding at social media can be a way.
5. Have the attitude!!! It's important. People won't talk to rude guy. Keep your manner, the way you talk, your poise and posture. Make sure you treat other the way you want to be treated.

Have a good networking and first of all YOU GOT TO ENJOY IT!!! :)

 ~Wilson Wijaya, Lee/23 June 2012~

A Letter to Dad

Last Sunday, we celebrated Father's Day.
For all fathers: Happy Father's Day, may you be a light and salt for the family.
For all children: Happy celebrating Father's Day, be a good child to your dad.
For all wives and mothers: Happy to see you with your loved one, may this will go to eternity.
And for those who don't have father: Happy to you who still have memory of your beloved father.

 And like me, who don't have the warm of father's hug anymore, we can only bring the memory of him.
Indeed we know that our father live forever in paradise.
Now I feel the pain of having no father around and envy them who still have complete family.
Happy are those whose family has both arm of father and mother.

This is just a letter that express my feeling towards my father.
It can be a reflection for you who miss your dad.
And also a reflection for you who still have dad to talk to and speak to.

I think I will do this more often to express my thought and feeling.
A letter to my dad who will never be able to read this.
A letter to my dad who is happy now in God's house.
A letter to my dad who will always pray for his son.

 

Dear Dad,

How are yo now? It's been a long time I see your face. Are you still healthy as before?
Are you happy there in God's house? Is that place better than home hence you leave first?
Don't you know how much mom cried near you asking you why you had to leave first?
Are you still that fat as before or have you slimmed down a bit?

Dad, I never imagined to say this, but I miss you now.
I really missed the time we had a conversation.
I really missed the time we spent time together as one family.
I really missed the time we had dinner together in our big table.

When you left us alone in silence, I asked God, why now? Why not later?
I never imagined to lose one of my parent so young when I still need them the most.
I don't care if my friend called me "spoiled brat".
I enjoy the time we had together, though you never speak a lot of words to me.
Though the memory I had are both smile and cry, happiness and sadness.
I always blame God for this, even till today.
Though I said to my self and friends I'm OK, I will never be OK.
I will never be the same anymore.
My heart was broken the moment I heard the news. I cried, I shouted, I went insane.

You left me before you saw me in my glory.
It was just one more year before I graduated, the moment you have been waiting for even till the last of your breathe. Why couldn't you wait for that moment? Why must God take you earlier?
People said that I didn't cry at all during your wake.
How could I cry if I really didn't understand what happened?
How could I make my mom sadder by crying with her?
How could I cry if I'm the only son in the family who has to be strong?
People just don't understand the pain that I felt that time.
I was pain that even tears couldn't wash it away.

But it was history. It was yesterday. It was my past part of my life story book.
I need to move on with my life and I believe you want me also to do the same.
Dad, did you know that now I have graduated?
Did you know how I wished you could see my graduation?
Did you know how I wanted to have picture taken with you in my robe?
How i wished you are seated there in the auditorium to see me in that stage.

I can't be a filial son to you.
Even now I was facing problem, I really don't know what to do.
Could you tell me what to do?
I can't meet my mom expectation and i believe it is also your expectation.
Have I failed you as a son?
Have I been a embarrassment to you?
I may not be the smartest student in my class.
I may not be the highest paid among my peers.
Surely I may not have  the proudest job among my friend
Do feel that I am a failure?
I wished you could talk and console me, how I want you to be with me, support me, and encourage me.
Let me be selfish this one time, dad I want to e just a child.
I don't want to grow up and be adult.
I just want to be with you like last time when I need not to worry  about anything at all.
Could I have that moment one more time and stay still?

I wish you all the best there dad. Enjoy your new life without pain and sadness.
Please watch me here with all your love.
Though in the silence, pray for your child to prove the world.
Let me be the son that make you proud the most.
Let me live your legacy here and to pay them who looked down on you.
I will make sure that they will pay every penny that they spent to mock you and mom.
I will defeat the world that has been hard on you and mom.
I will make sure your name will be remembered.

Please wait for me there. Till I come back to you, please be healthy and strong.
Protect our family and guard us with your shield.
Let me prove my self to you for once and all.

With love,

Your son

In Memoriam:

Me and My Dad

Words about WORKING

"Working Quotes"

Here some interesting speeches/quotes that I found very true.
I like to share it with my friends around the world.
Hope you guys can learn something from the inspiring words.

1. Bryan Dyson, Former CEO of Coca Cola

2. Unknown

Being First is EVERYTHING

Before you read my entry, please kindly watch the video first.
The topic starts from 8:00 onwards.
If you like it, you can watch the whole video :)

 From Wikepedia:

Malcolm T. Gladwell, CM (born September 3, 1963) is a Canadian journalist, bestselling author, and speaker.^[1] He is currently based in New York City and has been a staff writer for The New Yorker since 1996. He has written four books, The Tipping Point: How Little Things Make a Big Difference (2000), Blink: The Power of Thinking Without Thinking (2005), Outliers: The Story of Success (2008), and What the Dog Saw: And Other Adventures (2009), a collection of his journalism. All four books were New York Times Bestsellers.

Have you ever wondered if being first is everything?
Is there any different between: Being first is everything and Being first in everything?
Which one are better and why?
Where is our stand on this topic and how do we see this view?
From the video Malcolm said that being first was not that good at all.
How many persons who are first that are not more successful than the second/third?
We can see Google is not the first search machine but make the biggest till today.
Apple was late in entering the market but could stand the ground.

If we look around our neighbor, we can see others example that being first is not always good.
Improving and making the old ideas better, bigger, and cheaper are much important in entering market.
How many copy cat company can gain more profits than original?
And most of the times people goes to cheaper product with lesser quality.
Being first entering market gives us more advantages but at the same time gives us more risks to handle.
Whereas the second and third will only follow the platform with some improvement along the way.

Being first is everything but never be the first in everything.
I don't think you will agree with me but for me I think we should consider about this.
Yes we should try our best to be the best that we can be.
In addition being first will give us sense of accomplishment and self esteem.
It is always great to be in first rank in the class.
I'm really proud to be the winner of International Speech contest in my club.


However I can't be the first in everything and none can do the same (IMHO).
Maybe we see people who are so wonderful; first rank in class, pretty, rich, nice, etc.
However believe me, there is some flaws that we may not see with our naked eyes.
Well I met such person before in my life.
Nobody is perfect and nobody will be one.
There is always some course where we can't be the first and we don't want to be.
I don't want to be the first punished by new law.
I don't want to be the first getting new disease.
I don't want to be the first tasting the death.

As human there is an urge to be the first in every subjects.
Even our mother pushed us to be the first in class.
Hence we grew up with this "program" that we need to be first always, every time, and   everywhere.
We don't like to be defeated and there is a big shame in losing.
Instead of realizing that we may be weak in this area, we push ourselves to our limits till the end where we break.
Hopefully people can realize that it is good to be first but the best is we learn from the process.
End is not an end at all without realization and understanding of the road.
Who will achieve it? Where is it? When will it be? What can it be? How to get there?


Instead of running to be first, give all our best in our work and process.
Whatever the end; the important lies on our means.
Improving and innovating is the key to sustain our existence.
People who fail to see their enemy are deemed to lose their position.
Being first means that we need to work harder to make the gap bigger with second and third.

~Wilson Wijaya, Lee/12 June 2012~